33 Rebuilding the Line

"Hey, Lieutenant. You're not giving up on this, are you?"

"...Well, I mean..."

"If you insist on calling it giving up, then how about we hold off until new information comes in?"

That would be a pragmatic decision.

In truth, there's so little data that we're barely doing anything but speculation.

Speculation built on speculation—what do you call that?

People call it delusion.

"Guess you're right..."

Jin also sets aside immediate conclusions, accepting it as inevitable.

Still, if that's the case...

"I'll tell Mio myself."

Sharon's reason for visiting the Higashiō household would vanish.

A faint sense of loneliness. And how to explain this to Mio.

These thoughts pass through his mind.

"Huh?"

But Sharon looks completely confused by that.

Then, she suddenly smiles, as if realizing something.

"Oh, I see. That's what it is."

"W-what's with that sinister smile?"

"No, no. I don’t think I’m wearing such a sinister smile."

"You are. The same smile you wore when you were about to pierce the electrode."

"I’m not wearing such a sly smile! I’m not!"

Jin was surprised—had he even realized he’d worn that look when stabbing the electrode?

"Could it be, Lieutenant… you thought I’d disappear after this matter is settled?"

"...Well, that’s true."

Jin admitted it without hesitation.

He knew arguing now would only dig his own grave.

"I don’t mind. I’m glad Mio-chan wants to see me. As long as Jin is fine with it."

Perhaps, just now, Shirley had taken one step back.

For Mio.

A justification, acceptable as such.

Change could come from Lieutenant to Sergeant.

But Jin—

A sense of loneliness arose in Jin, at the thought of their interactions returning to how they had been before with Shirley.

Jin hesitated to answer the image that flashed in his mind.

His fingers clenched the ring with visible strain.

Sharon’s eyes caught it. Shook.

Good.

Just two sounds—only that.

Jin’s throat remained rigid, unmoving.

Then he realized.

He had realized.

Jake had said he couldn’t think beyond the next step.

But that was wrong.

The answer had already been decided.

The seat reserved for Rei within his own heart.

No one else could occupy it—never.

Not even if it were anyone else.

He had come to understand: the only place he could feel he belonged was beside Rei.

“I’ll come see Mio. Lieutenant.”

A path once yielded.

Now he understood Sharon had quietly redrawn the line.

“Ah… please…”

Even sharing the same room.

Suddenly felt cold.

Lieutenant, you're truly not kind. You've grown kind toward others, but not toward yourself—doing such things only brings pain.

Sharon speaks as if she sees through Jin’s hesitation.

Well, I'm not an expert on humans, so I can't say for sure... but Lieutenant will surely endure hardship from now on.

Sorry. Corporal... but I...

I don’t want to forget.

The voice dissolves and vanishes into the night's darkness.

Jin's agonized plea reaches Shirley's ears.

"Really, you're foolish."

It would be easier to forget.

And desperately clinging to it, moving toward suffering on their own volition.

The former Shirley abandoned Jin.

Unable to find a reason to fight, given no answer.

A place to return to, one he cannot be himself within.

The moment it became clear.

Wishing that someone else might bestow it upon me.

He let go of it from his own hands.

In conclusion, Jin found an answer afterward.

A catalyst for finding the answer. Or perhaps meeting someone who gave it to him.

So, thinking of Jin, perhaps Sharon’s choice was correct.

But.

But truly.

It was simply a lack of confidence.

That someone like him—

Someone who had made a habit of saying humans were outside their expertise—

Could actually support this person.

It was simply a lack of confidence.

In truth, that choice—

“Who would worry about someone as foolish as Jin?”

A line like that? He didn’t care.

Sharon stepped on the line she had drawn herself.

“Sergeant?”

“To be honest, Jin—I don’t think I made a mistake six years ago!”

Something never spoken between them.

Sharon spoke it first, about the moment they parted.

“You were a pain in the neck, even if I’m being polite about it back then!”

“W-what…?”

“Even if it was just a relationship, I could’ve managed. But saying I’d have to support you for life—now that’s a minefield!”

“Damn it. You have no idea how much that hurt me back then.”

“But two years later, you found someone else so easily. And two years after that, you were already engaged. I was the one left shattered, you know!”

“You broke it off yourself—don’t come at me with that tone!”

Sharon thought, well, yes, she had to admit it.

She knew full well she was being selfish.

“But thanks to that, Jin met Miss Rei. Found someone he could spend his life with.”

Ah—she realized too late the intensity of her own emotions.

The restraint she’d held for so long was about to crack.

No—let it go. Let her heart open to Jin, right here, right now.

Reveal the inner self she had never shown even six years after their separation.

"You must have met someone truly wonderful, if you're still carrying that weight!"

Regret. Regret. Regret.

The words echoed endlessly within Sharon.

Because Jin had not been burdened by her like that when he lost her.

That was the truth—Sharon had meant no more to Jin than that.

That she had not left a deeper mark.

"The person you loved found peace. I couldn't give you that. So I believe my choice six years ago was right!"

But—

"But really... I wanted to be the one who gave you peace! I wanted you to be happy through my hands! I've regretted that for six years!"

Tears spilled from Sharon’s eyes.

"So I don’t want to regret anymore. I won’t abandon you again. I don’t care about some so-called 'safe line' that keeps us from hurting each other!"

"Grn... really?"

"Such a distant way of speaking. I’ve hated it for so long—please understand!"

Yes. She truly thought of herself as troublesome right now. But she had to say it.

If she didn’t say it now, she’d never say it.

She’d remain Lieutenant and Sergeant forever.

And that was fine with her.

One day she’d forget this feeling. Marry someone else. Build a life—ordinary, adequate.

Whether it was possible or not didn’t matter. She believed she should.

But being beside Jin after six years—this felt right.

Even though her left and right were already filled.

Still, she wanted to cling to his back, just barely.

Once she thought that, it was already too late.

The distance required by duty could no longer be endured.

The future she’d thought she should follow—now worthless, like trash.

Call her by name, even without a reason—just like before.

Even by accident.

Even in front of Mio.

She was always happy to be called by name, no matter the reason.

Once it comes to this, there's no more lying to oneself.

"Shā, rī?"

Even if Jin doesn’t care about me— even if no one else is willing to sit in Reisen’s place—I don’t care anymore! I’ll take it regardless of what anyone says! Land mines are fine with me!

Fear.

What if they rejected me for real?

But I can no longer endure it.

It couldn't be left unsaid.

Jin’s falling apart! No one’s healing him—only hurting him! How can you just leave someone like that?!

I don’t want to abandon this wounded person anymore.

This time, I want you to find happiness with your own hands. I want you to make yourself happy.

I want to walk beside you, close at hand. I want us to support each other.

Something I gave up six years ago, I want to hold it again. I want to take it in my hands once more.

I don’t want to give up anymore.

"Hey, Jin. Please listen. Really... really, I've... I've loved you since that day we parted, all along—"

"Sharon..."

"Always... always. I loved you. I still do. I love you still."