24 Betrayal 6

"Chilly."

I've been waiting here without pause for the past three days.

Today is Christmas Eve.

All ship formations have weather settings locked to snow for this day.

I'd like to complain to the old great ones who decided this—just this once.

My breath fogs white.

Though I can't see it, my cheeks are surely crimson.

I can't leave this spot even to seek warmth.

From morning until night.

Eventually, when night falls, I assume he won't come—so I've left, too.

"Maybe I missed my mark."

Waiting motionless at the dormitory entrance, I'm approached by the residents.

Honestly, it's a little bothersome.

I gently decline, reminding them he isn't one of you.

Still, after three days of waiting in vain, they must know.

When they call me clingy, my resolve wavers—just slightly.

The only places connecting the two of them are here and the library, where they first met.

And in terms of time spent, this place is by far the most significant—actually, upon reflection, there’s no memory of meeting anywhere else besides here and the library.

“Never went out together, huh…”

A quiet, wistful murmur escapes.

Thinking back on it, listing the moments she’s shared with Jin.

“Maybe I rushed ahead too quickly.”

There’s a faint awareness that perhaps she overreached.

Still, May explains to no one in particular.

She couldn’t stop the thoughts from surging.

Even today, without certainty of meeting, she’s prepared chicken for two.

The sun is about to set.

But today, just today.

She feels like she can wait a little longer.

It’s Christmas Eve, after all.

The day Santa Claus delivers gifts.

So expecting a small bit of luck—no harm in that.

“Long time no see.”

Tightening the corners of his mouth to suppress a smirk.

Looking at the coat soaked by snow, he understands something has been off—though that is beside the point.

I really want to punch the crap out of Togo right now—can I punch him?

Begin by venting three days' worth of grievances.

Why are you moving when you said you'd keep in contact?

No, sorry. I didn’t think that far ahead.

I was shocked when I heard I was being transferred to the dormitory supervisor’s quarters.

There was surprise, but more than that—unease.

Was I the only one who felt the same way at that moment?

Jin’s cheek is seized through the mitten, his gaze drifting.

The cold still reaches through the fabric.

Despite expecting cold, a sensation of warmth crept into the fingertips.

It was incredibly cold.

Since when were you here?

...Since this morning. Or rather, I've been coming here every day for the past three days.

I'm sorry.

Where were you?

"I was looking for Kusunoki."

"Why didn't I think of this place first?"

"Sorry."

It's not the apology I want, Ryo mutters, a faint pout forming.

It's not that I want.

"I didn't expect you to come here."

"Should I say it again? You said you'd contact me."

"I thought it was just polite talk."

"...Higashi, you have a pretty lonely set of relationships, don't you?"

"Leave it."

Can't leave it.

Can't leave it, that's why I'm here.

I want to say—because I couldn't stand seeing someone pretend to be strong alone, that's why I'm here now.

"Was our relationship really something you could brush off with polite talk?"

"If you're talking about us, we were landlord and tenant, weren't we?"

"I never paid rent, though."

"Then you're the homeowner and a squatter."

That's not what I want to say.

But at the last moment, fear took hold.

With cautious hesitation, confessing as if probing another’s innermost thoughts, she speaks into her own chest.

“It was enjoyable. Three months.”

“Ah.”

“At first, I really just wanted to save money.”

“I knew that.”

“I was actually looking forward to today.”

“To be honest, so was I.”

“But well, it’s only natural—suddenly being told to leave.”

“It’s only natural. We’re the ones who broke the rules.”

“It started by chance, ended this way—there’s no help for it. After all, landlord and squatter.”

“Ah. I thought the same.”

Because from the beginning, I was already betraying her, Rei whispers inwardly.

She didn’t mean to deceive.

But when it ended abruptly, Rei truly felt it as punishment for betrayal.

“But… it’s lonely, you know.”

There’s no help for it.

That word couldn’t resolve it.

Returning to a hotel alone, sitting in a room with no one else.

I’ve thought long and hard about what would make you happy. Something too heavy to speak aloud.

No one responds to a quiet whisper.

In just three months, having someone beside me had become a given.

That was normal not so long ago.

...Really, it was.

Being alone is cold.

Yet Rin has a place to return to.

Jin has nothing. He’s been in a place colder than Rin’s by a hundredfold.

That’s why I wanted to warm him.

So Rin cast everything aside and came here.

I thought I’d like to keep going a little longer. You said you’d move when you came to Higashi’s place.

No, I really am sorry…

Something’s changed. It’s like you’re trying to cut ties, changing your address.

Her glove brushes Jin’s cheek.

What if that’s really true? The fear of it.

A silent confirmation: not that, right?

"I didn't mean to. I admit I was careless."

"Then..."

What was the intention behind suddenly moving out?

The hand of Mio, about to press the question again, was gently pulled away.

Disliking the fading warmth.

Unconsciously reaching out, her palm closed around something hard.

A sensation she hadn’t felt in a while—but one she missed.

"The key...?"

"Just because it's a single-person dorm. I wasn't bothered by it. No—"

Jin paused.

A faint trace of distress on his face.

Please stop. I don’t want to see that expression.

I want you to be calmer.

"I liked that life. I wanted to keep it, if possible."

Jin’s hand overlapped Mio’s, still clenched.

Aware of it or not. The pressure in the palm is slightly painful.

Painful—yet that pain is pleasurable.

"So I thought, elsewhere, it wouldn’t be a problem. That’s why I rushed to prepare."

Because that was proof he had always been chasing after himself.

"Haha… hahaha. Tohgo-kun really is…"

Too eager.

What would you have done if I had come back?

A flood of words—each one piercing me—rose and vanished.

Instead, Mio returns the gesture to Jin.

Just as he did, she presses her open hand against his, clasping it tightly with her own.

How much she had pursued him—she squeezes the grip, as if to convey it.

"Thinking the same thing—what a bother."

Good it wasn’t one-sided.

Good we felt the same.

Good we were together.

"What’s this for?"

Seeing Jin’s startled expression, Sharon’s lips curved slightly upward.

“What’d you do to get the room?”

A natural question.

So Sharon smiled, as if to demonstrate her resolve.

“I changed my ship registry.”

A brief silence.

“You just… did it so casually…”

“It wasn’t casual.”

She didn’t want to boast about how much she’d agonized.

But it wasn’t a light decision.

She wanted him to understand that, looking into Jin’s eyes.

“It wasn’t casual.”

“I get it.”

Really? Did he really understand?

No matter. Even if he hadn’t, it wouldn’t matter.

There was still much she didn’t know about him.

Likewise, she could show him the parts of herself he hadn’t seen.

There was plenty of time for that.

“So, let’s eat like we promised. The date changes in an hour…”

“Hey, Kusakabe.”

“What?”

I like you.

The words he had been waiting for.

The feeling he had believed to be mutual.

It is reassuring to confirm it.

It is happy—yet now—

"Um... I'm conflicted."

Because the situation is too perfect.

"Conflicted?"

"Yeah. You know. Today's Christmas Eve."

"Yeah."

"And it's a good time, really."

"Yeah?"

She concentrates, willing the meaning to reach him—but Jin remains untouched.

Frustrated, yet holding a warm, joyful feeling, she presses on.

"So, after this, we're going to one of our houses and eating dinner, right? That's the promise we made."

"That was the plan."

"History shows that moments like this—well—they tend to carry people along."

"I don't really understand history..."

"That's why... you have to understand this."

"No, sorry. I really don't."

"Then... ah..."

It makes no sense at all. I’m starting to feel uneasy about the future.

What kind of shame game is this, she writhes in confusion.

“If we’re together now, I’ll never be able to stop…!”

“No, what kind of person do you think I am?”

I see you as someone deeply lonely, tender—someone whose presence alone makes one uneasy.

But right now, I think you’re a little too oblivious.

And it’s precisely because of that—because of you—that I’ve come to like you.