落とし穴３５掘：魔物会議？
**Pitfall 35: Monster Meeting?**
**Monster Meeting?**
**Side: Steve**
After Yuki-taisho left the dungeon, entrusting the rear guard to the monster executives, a fierce battle was unfolding in the areas where the Enaria forces had invaded.
Deep within the lowest level of the dungeon, in the conference room, the monsters known as the "Executives"—the highest combat power Weed has to offer—had gathered.
There was me, Steve, a goblin—the weakest race—who could slaughter even dragons.
Then there was Britt, who served as my adjutant.
Surakichi-san, a slime—also considered the weakest race—who had once sealed away a Demon Lord.
John, the Orc from the farm who only ever eats vegetables.
And Mino-chan, the strongest Minotaur, a Blood Minotaur who usually spends his time at school playing with the children.
These are the Four Heavenly Kings that Weed boasts.
Well, I just came up with that title right now, though.
Naturally, Britt is excluded.
Right now, we were wrapped in extreme tension. We glanced at each other’s faces, sitting quietly around the table, staring intently at the items being placed down.
*Flip.*
"Six."
*Flip.*
"Seven."
*Flip.*
"Eight."
*Flip.*
"Nine."
At that point, Surakichi-san’s "hand" stopped.
"Steve, Doubt."
The card placed down was flipped over. It had the number twelve written on it.
"Gyaaaah!? How did you know!?"
The mountain of cards that had piled up in front of me was pushed my way.
"Doubt" is a card game, but... well, explaining it every time is a bit much. Just Google it.
Actually, isn't it rarer to find someone who *doesn't* know it?
"I don't know, just a hunch."
"...Are you serious? You aren't using that gelatinous body of yours to cheat, are you?"
"Why would I bother cheating at something like this? Anyway, I'm out."
Chatting like that, Surakichi-san emptied his hand and took first place.
"Well then, time to claim my prize."
As the winner, he had the authority to choose his favorite snack first. Naturally, these snacks were purchased at the Weed shops using our own money.
"Aw, you're taking that one?"
"Hm? Oh, you mean the taiyaki from the food stall?"
"Yeah, yeah. I worked hard waiting in line for that. If I recall, there’s black bean paste, white bean paste, custard, and chocolate inside, right?"
"...I can't tell the difference by looking."
"...I guess you're right. Well, I'll just pick one at random. And with that, I'm out too."
While we talked, I managed to finish in third place. The final results were: 1st place Surakichi-san, 2nd place Mino-chan, 3rd place me, 4th place John, and 5th place Britt.
"Man, talk about bad luck. Even though the Captain collected a mountain of cards."
"That’s just how the tides of fate turn, I suppose."
In the end, while Surakichi-san was agonizing over which taiyaki to pick, we decided to play Russian Roulette with them. Naturally, Surakichi-san, being the winner, had the right to choose first.
"Actually, is going first really an advantage?"
"Who knows? It’s not like a real game of Russian Roulette where your head goes 'bang'."
"That's true. I wanted the black bean paste, but this is just for fun. I'll take this one."
"Then I'll take this one."
"I'll have this one."
"...You don't happen to have a taiyaki with cucumber in it, do you?"
"Don't say such terrifying things, John."
Because John started saying something outrageous, I ended up staring intently at my taiyaki. Honestly, this is why vegetarian orcs are a problem.
"Oh, black bean paste. Lucky."
"That's good for you. Mine is chocolate."
"Mine is custard."
"I got white bean paste."
"Mine is black bean paste."
We reported our fillings to each other and used a bit of fire magic—not quite a microwave, more like an oven—to warm them up before eating. Magic is so convenient.
"Hm? Were there two black bean pastes?"
"Ah, looks like it. I ordered them randomly so I forgot. I was in a rush."
"Come to think of it, it was a pretty sudden summons."
"I'm surprised you had time to go shopping in Weed."
"Nah, I just happened to be back in Weed for some report-related business."
"Ah, I see."
I had sent a call to Zargis to leave the rest to him, then did my shopping before coming here. When I heard the reason, I knew it was important, so I figured we were in for a long, thankless wait.
"Still, Yuki is finally a father, huh."
"Well, the Boss looks happy, so I don't mind."
"Indeed. I want the Boss to be as happy as possible."
"That's true. Since the gods keep dumping such heavy work on him, it's good that he has a proper, important place to call home. Unlike my fields."
"...I think that's a problem in itself, though."
Britt, keep going—tell him that a vegetarian's way of thinking is strange.
"Well, we should get the report about the Boss's child being born by tomorrow."
"Indeed."
"In that case, shouldn't we decide who takes a nap first? It's not like there's any point in all of us watching the dungeon."
"Ah, you're right. It seems like they called us in a panic because the Boss was leaving, but there's no need for everyone to stay awake."
"Actually, it's bad for everyone to waste their stamina. Like Surakichi said, whoever wants to nap can go ahead."
John said that, but no one actually wanted to sleep, and a heavy silence followed.
"Pfft..."
And then, everyone burst out laughing.
"What, so in the end, we're all waiting for the birth announcement?"
"Obviously. Since we're at our workplace, we want to hear such celebratory news immediately."
"Exactly. Happy things are meant to be shared by everyone; it'd be a waste to be asleep."
"Then, shall we play a game while we wait? Keep playing cards?"
"No, I'm tired of that. How about the Game of Life?"
"That works. We have a TV, too, so we can just play something in the background to kill time."
And so, everyone began preparing to relax. Well then, the night is still long. Or rather, I'm prepared for an all-nighter.
"We have a console, should we play that train-themed board game?"
"That game leads to real-life fights, so don't even think about it."
I shut down Britt’s suggestion immediately.
"...So you guys *have* played it. And it led to a real fight."
"That was Steve's fault. They teamed up to put the 'God of Poverty' on me."
"I'm not at fault! That's what the battlefield is all about!!"
"Ah, so that kind of game is a no-go for these people..."
No, Britt, it’s just that this orc doesn't know how to read the room.
Now then, I have a certain goal in mind, so I'm going to make sure this birth takes a long, long time.
And as for the Enaria army, who had been completely forgotten—will they even be able to invade while Steve and the others are busy playing games?!