第２４６掘：だから、無駄 (Part3)
No, I really can’t forgive that person for making Yuki-san act like he was being scolded, but... uh, killing her is a bit much.
“Calm down, Eris. No killing. I’ll make it up to you later, okay? So please, just calm down.”
“I understand. I shall settle for merely severing her limbs.”
“No, you clearly don’t understand!!”
And so, because that little brat of a Principal tried to pull a fast one on us, we decided to put on a little performance of our own.
She likely thinks we’re easy to manipulate now and will try to target us during tomorrow’s negotiations. Well, she’s dancing right in the palm of our hands.
She caused trouble for our Yuki-san.
I want her to cry real tears.
No mercy.
People who can’t apologize honestly are the worst.
***
With everything ready, we marched into the Academy. Just as Popuri-san planned, we were all led together into what looked like a conference room.
The "VIP treatment" was almost laughably transparent. The tea was top-tier for this continent, as were the sweets. Of course, they didn't hold a candle to what we have in Weed or what Yuki-san provides, though!
“How do you find them? Our pride and joy—the tea and confections.”
“Yes, they are quite delicious,” Eris replied, taking the lead exactly as planned.
While we were all capable of handling the conversation, Eris was the most eloquent—and the most furious about this whole affair. We had no choice but to let her take the reins.
...She’s not going to kill anyone, right?
...She’s not going to demolish the Academy, right?
“I see! That’s wonderful to hear. I feel like you and I are going to get along quite well.”
“Yes... I. Am. Sure. We. Will.”
*Eeeek!* Eris is talking like a robot! Her eyes aren't smiling at all!
“Since we’re becoming such good friends, I have a small favor to ask. Would that be alright?”
“What. Is. It?”
“We were quite rude to you all yesterday. As a token of our apology, we’ve provided this wonderful tea and these sweets, but is there anything else you think we should do?”
Ah, I see. She’s trying to get Eris to commit to something here in this meeting to gain the upper hand—or rather, to let Eris set the terms of the settlement.
If Eris were to carelessly say, “Oh, this is enough,” then that would be the end of it. Or, if she said she wanted a nice meal or a powerful magic tool, they’d provide it immediately and declare the matter settled.
Popuri-san was peering into Eris’s face with a look of blatant, feigned anxiety...
“I see. May I speak freely, then?”
“Yes, yes! Please do! Tell me whatever you like, and I’ll do my best to meet your wishes.”
*Oh boy...* You shouldn't have said that to Eris...
“Then, first: The Academy must issue a formal declaration to every nation it holds an alliance or trade agreement with, admitting to the unjust treatment of the party that was officially vetted and authorized—namely, us.”
“Huh?”
“Second: A formal apology must be issued to the nations of Zilba and Enaria for the improper handling of their representatives.”
“Wh-what?”
“Third: You must provide a clear solution to the problems caused by this incident, establish measures to prevent a recurrence, and impose disciplinary action upon the current Principal for her negligence.”
“Wait a—?!”
“Fourth: You must offer a sincere apology to us, the direct victims, and notify all aforementioned nations of the contents of said apology.”
“Wait, wait, stop! Stop!!”
Finally snapping back to reality, Popuri-san frantically cut her off.
“Is something the matter? I am merely stating what I would like.”
“A-Ah, well, um... I was thinking more along the lines of... do you have any *personal* desires? Things you want for yourself?”
She was desperately trying to fish for a personal bribe to use as the settlement condition. I mean, Eris’s demands were about fifty percent more intense than even Yuki-san had predicted...
For an Academy that wants to sweep this under the rug, those are conditions they absolutely cannot accept.
“Ah, I see. I do have those as well.”
“R-Really?! Tell me! I’ll prepare whatever it is!”
“Thank you. You truly are reliable, Popuri-san.”
“Yes, leave it to me!”
Oh, this is bad. Popuri-san, Eris has the eyes of a predator right now.
“So, in addition to accepting the previous conditions, you are prepared to offer me personal compensation as a separate matter?”
“Eh? A-Ah, well...”
“Oh? Surely you weren't planning to use a personal gift to settle a matter of international significance, were you?”
“O-Of course not! I’ll... I’ll have the personal gifts prepared separately.”
“I thought so. You wouldn't be the type to try and blur the lines to make a problem disappear, right?”
*Popuri-san, just apologize now. Otherwise, she’s going to strip you of everything!* Even Yuki-san is staring blankly with his eyes rolled back. Even from my perspective, this is overkill!
“Actually, my personal requests are quite substantial. It might be difficult to balance them unless we relax the previous conditions a bit.”
“R-Really?! I’ll make sure your personal wishes are granted, so could you please ease up on the other conditions?”
“Yes, of course. After all, we’re friends, aren't we?”
“Yes, yes! We’re friends!”
A photo of Eris’s smile at that moment would later be used to discipline children. That’s how terrifying it was.
As it turned out, her "personal requests" were at a level where it would have been better to just accept the original political conditions.
And so, the one-sided negotiation ended, and we prepared to leave the Academy...
“We were able to reach an excellent agreement today. Thank you very much.”
“Th-thank... *hic*... you... *sniff*... very much...”
As you can see, the Principal was now crying for real. Even the Vice Principal, Lara-san, had lost her smug composure; her face was twitching.
Nobody was smiling except Eris. Everyone else was looking at the Principal with profound pity.
“Well then, we look forward to working with you starting tomorrow.”
“U-Uuuugh... l-look... *hic*... forward to it...”
“By the way, thinking that fake crying from the inn would work on another woman was a mistake.”
*Wow, she’s even going for the finishing blow...*
“Waaaaahhh! Laraaaaa!”
“P-Principal, please calm down! We are still seeing them out! To show such impropriety would be...”
Watching them, Eris smiled and said:
“We shall discuss the rest of the reparations tomorrow.”
With that, we departed.
Principal Popuri was left behind, wailing even harder, while Vice Principal Lara was completely frozen.
They simply picked the wrong opponent.
Eris works at the Weed Government Office. While she mainly handles accounting and residency records, she’s a versatile genius who helps with almost everything. Naturally, negotiation is one of her specialties. She’s learned a lot from Yuki-san, after all...
**The "Personal Requests" Eris pushed through:**
* No interference with the transfer students' actions.
* Disclosure of magic research contents upon request.
* Exemption from basic classes upon request.
* The Principal personally covers all necessary expenses during the six-month stay.
* Permission to view every single book in the Academy’s archives.
* Dedicated private rooms for the transfer students to use freely.
* The Principal must personally resolve any trouble between transfer students and regular students.
* Permission to use any developed magic tools.
* ...and various other things.
Honestly, it’s basically indentured servitude.
Yeah, you should never make Eris angry.
The "Highball Technique." A negotiation tactic where you first make an unacceptable demand, then follow up with your true goal, making the second option seem reasonable by comparison.
Eris is terrifying.
Well, our days as students are finally beginning!
Our rear is perfectly secured!
...By the tears of a loli-grandma.