第３１２堀：駄目神、説明しろ (Part1)
**Dungeon 312: Useless Goddess, Explain Yourself**
**Side: Yuki**
The first round of talks in the Holy Kingdom of Hifi had concluded. We were currently back in Weed, holding an emergency meeting to process the chaotic information we had brought back.
*“Look, I’m not asking for an answer right this second. But war is inevitable. I will try to persuade Hifi-dono to delay the start of hostilities. In the meantime, give me your answer. After all, if I tell Hifi-dono that you are my fellow countryman, I’m sure they will accept it readily.”*
With those words, the recording of the conversation with Tanaka-san ended.
“……That sounds incredibly reasonable.”
“Indeed it does.”
“Yes. I believe it is entirely logical.”
“I thought so as well.”
The ones responding were my wives—those who had already seen the future of what was to come in Weed, and who, having been royalty or nobility, understood the nature of power. Specifically, Seraria, Deryu, Rurua, and Shera.
The other members also wore conflicted expressions. Even I felt the same way. I couldn’t deny Tanaka-san’s approach. In fact, I agreed with it. If not for one single point.
“But why doesn’t Goddess Hifi exercise the power of a Dungeon Master like Comet does?”
“We had that question before, didn’t we? Isn’t it because the Dungeon Master has been resurrected—or rather, turned into an undead?”
“I think so too. Perhaps their abilities are restricted, or nearly dormant? Otherwise, they wouldn’t need to raise their flag so openly; it should be simple enough to topple other countries.”
“How should I put it… I feel as though Yuki-san chose the path of reform without relying on Dungeon Master skills. Given Tanaka-san’s words and actions, if they knew of the convenient power of a dungeon, I don’t believe they would resort to brute force.”
As Shera said, the difference between me and Tanaka-san was whether or not we utilized the power of the dungeon. Without that power, even in the continent of Weed, I would have been forced to take the same brute-force route as Tanaka-san.
“I agree with Shera’s opinion. But the presence or absence of dungeon skills has nothing to do with Tanaka-san. It’s possible that Goddess Hifi is hiding something from them.”
“That’s true. That is a possibility. Well, in any case, it would be faster to just call the person involved and ask.”
“Indeed. Fortunately, we have an acquaintance who is a Higher God.”
“Yes. Let’s gather information first. It might provide a clue.”
……My wives’ respect for that creature is dwindling by the second.
“““Call the Useless Goddess.”””
In unison, they called for the very person who had brought me to this world: Luna. A self-proclaimed Higher God. Recently, she had been spending her time in the house we built for her in Weed, wearing a tracksuit, eating snacks, and playing video games. It was an enviably lazy lifestyle. Though she disappeared from time to time, suggesting she was busy with other matters, anyone who saw her would surely brand her a "Useless Goddess." Lilishe, who had witnessed her superior’s disgraceful behavior in Weed, had already reached a state of resignation.
Personally, I hated calling that Useless Goddess. The more I called her, the more trouble seemed to follow. However, as things stood, she was likely the one with the most information regarding Goddess Hifi and her predecessors.
And so, I decided to summon Luna.
“Huh? What is it? Did a new flavor of potato chips come out?”
As expected, the Useless Goddess was indeed useless. Nothing had changed. She stood there in her tracksuit, a plastic bottle of juice in one hand, while her other hand was shoved inside her shirt, scratching her stomach. The truth behind the suspicious religious recruiter in the business suit was right there.
……Is she a shut-in?
“Go buy them yourself!!”
*THWACK!!*
A satisfying sound echoed through the room. I don’t think I’m in the wrong for reflexively hitting her with a paper fan.
“That hurt, you know!? You still don’t show any respect for people, do you?”
“If you want respect, dress the part. There’s no such thing as an Emperor’s New Clothes in reality.”
“But there was one in your world, wasn’t there?”
“That was in a story!!”
“Then what about nudist beaches?”
“That’s a place specifically for that!!”
This is no good. This Useless Goddess is truly exhausting. It takes forever just to get to the point.
“……Anyway. You probably understand why you were called here, right? You seem to be peeking in on us often enough.”
“……Tch. You’re pushing the conversation forward quite forcefully. Fine. I suppose this was, in a sense, unexpected for me too, and in another sense, something that was bound to happen. Very well. I will explain the situation.”
The Useless Goddess sat down at the conference table. The moment she did, she was suddenly wearing a sharp suit, and her messy hair was perfectly groomed.
“*Sigh*. These clothes make my shoulders stiff. I hate work attire. Oh, Kirue, could I get some tea? Green tea.”
“Yes, certainly.”
Kirue complied obediently, but I’m sure she was calling her a "Useless Goddess" in her heart. If she wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to forgive her for ordering my wife around.
“Thanks. *Slurp*… Phew, green tea is best when it’s hot.”
She took a sip, finished it, and finally, her eyes shifted into work mode.
“Now then, where should I start… there’s so much to cover.”
“Then, why don’t you start by telling us about Goddess Hifi?”
To us, we had no information about her other than the fact that she was a god.
“I see. Chronologically, that would be best.”
“Chronologically?”
“That’s right. If I talk about Hifi, it will inevitably lead to the rest of the story. But before that, Yuki, do you remember? I told you that apart from you, the gods and Dungeon Masters of this world were locals—chosen from this Aroulito.”
“I remember.”
That was precisely why they were so incompetent that they had to summon me in the first place.
“But there was information I didn’t tell you then. You might have already guessed, but I only really get involved in matters concerning Dungeon Masters. In other words, I didn’t choose the gods of this world.”
“……What does that mean? Do you understand?”
Seraria looked at me, puzzled. ……So that’s how it is. If Luna had full authority from the start, she wouldn’t have needed to take such a roundabout method.
“*Sigh*… In other words, it’s like Luna was saddled with this Aroulito too?”