第３１５堀：真面目な奴はついて行けない (Part2)
"Hmm, hmm. You've certainly thought this through. Well, I'll summarize those points and explain them properly myself. It's best to have a grasp of the whole picture, isn't it?"
With that, she stepped away from me and Hifi, approaching the spot where Yuki, Taiki, and Comet were talking... and brought her fist down squarely on Comet's head.
"Gah...!?"
A dull *thud* echoed through the air, and Comet slumped over, clutching her head.
"What are you whining about? You're an undead, you shouldn't have much of a sense of pain left, should you?"
"No, my brain was rattled, you know!? You really need to realize that you're an abnormal entity who calls herself a god, Luna-san."
"Still the same sharp tongue, even after becoming a zombie. Huh? Does your brain not change even after you've died and rotted away?"
"I'm not a zombie, I'm a Lich-type!? And stop grabbing my head with both hands and shaking it up and down! It's going to come out, my breakfast is going to come out, I tell you!? And I'm not rotting!! I'm fresh, just-died, and in my prime!!"
"Fine, then just hurl it all out!! And calm down!! Besides, why are you eating breakfast anyway!! I had to work without eating anything!!"
"Th-that is, Luna-san's, lifestyle... Ugh..."
"Hey, wait, not after I stepped away!? Gyaaaah!?"
...I beg of you, please, someone explain what is happening.
I don't understand why people who could be called beautiful, stunning women are making such a scene while covered in their own regurgitated mess.
What was the purpose of this meeting I arranged again?
"Honme-san. Well, it's best to think of this as just how things are."
Before I knew it, Yuki was standing beside me with a distant look in his eyes.
What weary eyes they were...
"Have you... experienced this many times before?"
"You get used to it... probably."
"...I feel like that's something one shouldn't get used to."
There is no way a meeting like this should exist.
...No, I suppose it's fine since it's unofficial?
It was supposed to be a meeting with my friends, after all.
"Ugh. Ah, what a waste of breakfast. And I've made a mess. Hey, Hifi, where's the place to change clothes?"
"Your internal organs are showing, you know!? And Comet, if you have self-awareness, you should know where the clothes are!!"
If it were just the conversation, it might be... no, it wouldn't be heartwarming at all.
The sight itself is even more unbearable.
Comet's clothes are stained with vomit, and something resembling internal organs is protruding.
By what logic is she even speaking...?
Hifi, while complaining, pushed the organs back into place and began cleaning up with practiced efficiency.
"Yuki, I'm borrowing the inn's open-air bath!! This is the worst!!"
"Wait, hey!! Go wash off in a private room!! My wives are going to use it too, what are you going to do if they get sick!!"
"Sick? What do you think a god is!? Are you implying that we're dirty!?"
"Then you don't need to wash off, do you? The fact that you're washing means you acknowledge you're dirty."
"Guh, fine, I get it. I'll go change at home..."
They seem to have their own struggles over there.
...The fact that Yuki didn't say "it's your own fault" for shaking someone's head is likely to prevent the situation from escalating further.
I can't very well point that out when Yuki himself isn't.
If anything, I feel like that would just lead to even more chaos.
"Phew. Man, I never thought I'd be taking a bath in the middle of the day."
"Ahahaha. I suppose so."
While the two of them laughed nonchalantly, I was sinking further into confusion.
While Luna was talking to Yuki about washing off the mess, Comet asked to accompany them. Ignoring Hifi's attempts to stop her, the flow of the conversation shifted to them all taking a bath together.
...The sequence of events up to this point wasn't great, but I could let it slide.
However, it became even more incomprehensible from there.
Yuki said something nonsensical about how he couldn't possibly take them to his own base, and then declared he would renovate the dungeon beneath this Great Cathedral on the spot.
I was surprised that he knew about the dungeon, but if he was an acquaintance of Luna, who had connections to Comet, it wasn't all that strange.
But when he said he would renovate the dungeon, in an instant—truly in the blink of an eye—an inn appeared beneath the Great Cathedral.
It's not a lie.
Even though it was underground, there was a sky for some reason, and despite it being winter, cherry blossoms were in full bloom inside, and one could enjoy an open-air bath.
...No, I know it sounds like I'm talking nonsense, but it's the truth.
While Hifi and Comet were surprised by the situation, they were led away by Luna into the women's bath as if it were perfectly normal.
Even in my state of utter confusion, I would not commit the folly of entering the women's bath.
"Phew. Making me waste DP. Well, in a way, it's fine since I managed to take control of this dungeon quite naturally. I don't really understand what that useless god is thinking, but I might as well do some tinkering while I'm at it."
Beside me, Yuki, who had likely performed the renovation, was operating something that looked like a transparent clipboard floating in the air.
...Tinkering?
The word is concerning, but first, I must try to grasp the situation.
This is not a situation where I can ask the women for an explanation.
They say that when three women gather, they are noisy, and that is truly the literal truth here.
"Excuse me. Yuki, for now, could you tell me what you know?"
"I don't mind. ...What do you want to hear?"
"...For now. Please start with the story about the dungeon."
Even though I said I only needed the necessary information when it was necessary, I know far too little right now.
"...For now, I'll bring some tea."
"...My apologies."
Why is it?
I feel like I was the one in charge of this meeting, yet I feel like I'm the one being left behind the most.
Well, the confusion is reaching its peak!!
Does that useless god have some kind of strategy in mind!!
Ordinary people can't keep up with this!!
In a way, it's exactly as I expected, though!!