第３９９堀：新番組 (Part1)
Chapter 399: New Program
Side: Yuki
"We’re going live! Five, four..."
From three onwards, I stopped speaking and counted down with my fingers until I reached zero.
Upbeat background music began to play, the title appeared on the large screen installed in the studio, and three women stepped onto the stage.
"Quiz: All Arrow-Right is now... starting!"
"Starting!"
The one who shouted first was, of course, the Useless Goddess.
"Now, abbreviated as 'Quiz O-A-R'. For our hosts, we have myself, Goddess Luna, and..."
"As assistant host, Weed’s Dungeon Master, Labyris, and..."
"Also as assistant host, Hifia’s Dungeon Master, Comet, will be guiding you through the show!"
The other two were the Dungeon Masters, Labyris and Comet.
The vibe was exactly like those variety shows that go around discovering the mysteries of the world.
"Our guests for this commemorative episode zero are..."
"We have a luxurious lineup featuring other gods."
"Ah, since they are people from the continent under my jurisdiction, I’ll introduce them myself."
With that, the camera switched from camera two to the contestant seats, showing Hifia.
...Her face looked expressionless, almost as if she were dead inside, but oh well.
"First, the Goddess who used to be my partner, and the Holy Maiden of the Hifia Holy Kingdom! Goddess Hifia!"
"...Hello. Ugh..."
She covered her face with her hands the moment she finished speaking.
She knows this is being recorded. To anyone who doesn't know the context, that introduction must have made the presenter look completely insane.
"She seems a bit shy. Next, we have guests from the great Kingdom of Ex. First, this man! The genius Royal Magician who supported Ex’s technology, Binzo!"
"Y-Yes. I am honored to hear you say that, Lady Comet..."
"Next, the leader of the elite mercenary group that cooperated with the Kingdom of Ex! Schmidt of the Blood Battle Mercenary Corps!"
"...Pleasure."
"And finally, the pillar of Ex, the man who handles any political crisis! The capable Chancellor, Job!"
"...It is a pleasure to meet you."
"Next is my colleague! The Dungeon Master who joined hands with Ex, Sakuri!"
"...Glad to see you’re having fun."
"And last but not least! The King of Ex, who was once called the God of War! Nooooble!"
"...Lady Comet, is this your true personality?"
"Yes. This is the real me. Well, I’ll explain in detail later why I was playing the role of a quiet, undead beauty, so look forward to it."
"..."
Yeah. The members from Ex weren't keeping up with the situation at all.
They weren't being executed, and instead of a formal meeting with a High God, they were being filmed for a TV show.
It’s a perfect example of how the human brain struggles to process information when reality deviates from expectations.
The plan was to use this quiz format to explain the current situation and get them to understand everything at once.
...Also, I took advantage of the suggestion to create a program as an experiment to increase entertainment in Weed.
I had recorded the previous quiz session between Hifia, Comet, and Taizo-san, and when my wives asked if we could make use of it, I decided to do it properly here.
It’s also perfect for throwing the opposition off balance.
"You all seem so stiff. Noble, smile a little more. You won't enjoy yourself like that, will you?"
"W-Well, but to be in the presence of Lady Luna..."
That’s a tall order in more ways than one.
That Useless Goddess is as unreasonable as ever.
"Well, whatever. Like Comet said earlier, we’re going to explain things through a quiz."
"A quiz?"
"That’s right, a quiz! 'All Arrow-Right' is a program that unravels every mystery in this world! As the contestants invited to our glorious episode zero, I want you to hold your heads high!"
"U-Understood! I, Noble, and all my retainers will live up to Lady Luna’s expectations!"
"Yup, yup. If you get good results, there will be prizes, and if you get them wrong, there will be a little penalty game. Do your best."
"Yes!"
Ah, ah, they’re being played like a fiddle.
"Y-Your Majesty, such a hasty promise. We don't even know if we have the knowledge to answer..."
"You hit the nail on the head, Chancellor! But you don't need to worry about that! Labyris."
"Yes. Our topic for this round is as follows."
As Labyris spoke, the title appeared on the large monitor.
*Regarding Magic Power Depletion and the Situation on this Continent*
"So, as a god and a king, Noble and Hifia—and all you retainers—should know at least this much, right? Even if you get it wrong, I’ll provide the answer and correct you, and you’ll understand why you were brought here."
"I see. We are in your care."
"Alright, now that you understand the premise, let’s go straight to the VTR!"
"VTR?"
They wouldn't know what a VTR is.
Actually, since it stands for Video Tape Recorder, I doubt the word would even exist in a world without video technology.
Well, since Luna said it, it’ll probably become standard terminology.
I’ll have to come up with new terms when we broadcast in Weed...
While I was thinking about future adjustments, the screen recorded in Weed appeared.
It was something we had prepared to explain magic power depletion to the kings of various countries.
I never thought I’d be explaining it to the people of the New Continent first. In a quiz format, no less.
*"Yes. This is your reporter, Ratz. I am currently in the Adventurer District of Weed. We are inside Lady Labyris’s dungeon..."*
It was footage of Ratz introducing the city of Weed.
The goal here was to make them realize that the world is vast and that there isn't just one continent.
"Oh, this is magnificent. To think there is a country where so many different races live together..."
"The same idea as mine... No, they are far ahead. This is amazing."
"Indeed. However, despite such tremendous development, I have never heard of a country called Weed. You there, Ratz, was it? Answer me, where is this place located?"
"Chancellor. That is likely just a recording of past events being played back; it won't answer you even if you ask."
"...Is that so?"
"That’s right. Just watch until the end. There will be a question."
The members of Ex were surprised, but after Luna’s explanation, they calmed down and continued watching the VTR.
Hifia was already staring off into the distance. Hang in there, Hifia!
*"Now, while seeing different races living together is a common sight on this continent, it is different on other continents."*
"Other continents?"
*"Recent research and exploration have confirmed that there is another continent across the sea!"*
"What?!"
Ugh, thanks for the easy-to-read reaction.
Then, Ratz walked over to a map pinned to a whiteboard.
*"The right side here is the continent we live on. And across this sea, the one on the left is what we call the New Continent. However, a certain problem is occurring on that New Continent. So, here is your question. What is the problem currently happening on the New Continent? 1. Mass outbreak of monsters, 2. Abnormal weather, 3. Abnormal magic power conditions."*
The footage ended with Ratz cutely holding up her index finger and asking the question.
I should probably stop using my wife as a reporter.
She’s my wife, not a spectacle.
"Now, please choose the number card you think is the correct answer."
"You have ten seconds! Nine, eight, seven, six, five..."
Comet started the countdown, and it reached zero.
"Now, what is your answer?"
"We all choose three."
As expected, since the title of the segment was "Magic Power Depletion."
If they got that wrong, it would have been "Anger! Sticky Trap Pool Dive!" time.
Then, the answer VTR played.
*"Yes. The answer is number three. For some reason, magic power consumption on the New Continent is nearly twenty times higher than on Weed’s continent. People capable of using magic have decreased drastically, monsters born from magic pools are dwindling, and the birth rate of demi-humans is falling. These are just the effects we know of so far... Now then, let’s go to the scene. Hup!"*
Ratz jumped lightly, the footage cut, and the cute rabbit ears vanished.
"Is that castle... Zilba?"
"Yes. There is no doubt it is the neighboring country, Zilba."