第４３３堀：結局は誰かが割を食う (Part2)
"Hmm, if there were some kind of insurance, I think Hifi would be convinced, but the problem is what could possibly serve as that insurance..."
Just then, it hit me.
"Oh, I’ve got a great idea! If we do this, I think Hifi will be relieved and agree to let Taizo-san go as the envoy."
"Do you have a good plan?"
"Let’s hear it."
"It’s simple: I’ll just go along with the envoy. I’m Hifi’s best friend, after all. If I’m there to watch over things, she’ll feel at ease, right?"
"I see."
"Hmm. Well, the other party claims to be a God of Magic, so having Comet, who is skilled in magic, go along makes sense in that regard as well."
Exactly. If the other party is supposedly a God of Magic, I’d love to see them for myself. Plus, I’ve been dying to see places outside of Weed, so this gives me a perfectly legitimate excuse to travel. It’s a win-win!
"……I seem to have missed the conversation while I was cleaning the next room over."
Before I knew it, Hifi had emerged from the room, clutching a trash bag.
"Oh, welcome back."
"Don't 'welcome back' me!! Why is this room covered in trash when I cleaned it just last week!?"
"Eh? Was it really that messy? Isn't that Zargis's doing?"
As I said that, Zargis fumbled a flask he was holding, barely catching it before he spoke up.
"D-don't drag me into this out of nowhere. I make sure to keep my area organized and clean."
"Don't try to pin the blame on Zargis-dono!! No matter how you look at it, Comet, it has to be you!! Look at all these snack bags!! Zargis-dono basically only eats Japanese sweets!! Right, Taizo-san!?"
"Ah, yeah. That’s true. He’s strictly a Japanese sweets guy."
"Huh? Really? It’s just a few bags, don't be so dramatic."
"Oh, give me a break!! There are over ten snack bags left in the corner after just one week!! Learn to clean up after yourself for once!!"
Geez, I was planning on throwing them all away later.
"Don't give me that look. I know you were just going to say you'd clean it up later. If you're going to think that, just dispose of them immediately. It’s as simple as putting them in the trash bin!!"
"Hifi, are you my mother or something?"
"Who are you calling mother!? I don't need a daughter who's a giant zombie!!"
Honestly, she’s the one who turned me into a lich, so what kind of attitude is that? ...It’s so mean, so mean.
"……Save the fake tears. You’re not the type to be hurt by something like this."
"Tch."
I suppose after knowing each other for so long, the "crying for sympathy" trick doesn't work anymore.
"……Say, Yuki-kun. I can't tell if a woman is truly angry or crying, or if it's just an act. Can you tell?"
"……It’s better to just accept that women are creatures like that. You don't want to poke the hornet's nest while trying to figure it out, do you?"
"……I see. I suppose it’s best to view it as their own unique form of communication."
Exactly. It’s better to watch over a short-tempered wife with a warm, indulgent gaze. If you talk back, this is what happens, Taizo-san.
"Ahem. Now, continuing our previous discussion, I thought about it while I was cleaning. Indeed, this method is likely the best."
"Hifi-san. Please, understand..."
"But please understand my concerns as well. Therefore, I have a condition. Is that alright? Taizo-san, Yuki-dono."
"A condition?"
"Just tell us what it is. I can't make a judgment yet."
"Well, there is talk of that Comet over there acting as Taizo-san's bodyguard, but I am terribly worried about having someone who litters like this acting as a guard."
"「……」"
Wait a minute! You two, you're supposed to deny that! I have a brain that more than makes up for that, you know!?
"Ordinarily, I, as his wife, should be the one to accompany him, but that would mean neglecting my duties as Queen, so I will swallow my blood and tears and give up on that. Therefore, I want you to take Popuri instead of Comet. She is more reliable than Comet and will perform the job sufficiently."
"「Ah……」"
"Hold it right there!! Why my student!? My specs are higher than hers!! Higher!!"
"You lost to that student, and as I said, her work ethic is more reliable than yours."
"Alright!! You’re on!! Let’s take this outside!!"
"Fine by me. I’ve been wanting to knock some sense into that carefree head of yours for a long time."
And so, before saving the world, Hifi and I headed off to settle a battle that needed to be resolved first.
"For now, could you pass the word along to Popuri-dono?"
"Yes. I will contact her and have her summoned."