第４６２堀：笑ってはいけない道中記 (Part1)
**Chapter 462: The "Don't Laugh" Journey**
**Side: Comet**
Man, being with Yuki-kun is never boring.
I thought Nonoa and I were just going to be on standby, but we were told to pose as reinforcements for Nogosh and join up with him.
*Uhihi*, with this, the pincer attack is perfectly set.
Even if they try to flee into a dungeon, Steve-kun and the others are already prepared to seize authority. If they try to flee on foot, we’ll be running right along with them, and above all…
"If Nonoa is here, we won't have any trouble escaping even if the worst happens."
"Yes, indeed. Since Nonoa-sama can fly, we shall be fine."
They went out of their way to fly and catch up to us just to say things like that. Do they really intend to use us as their escape route when things go south? They’re completely cornered, aren't they?
What? They were calling people "muscle-brained," but at this point, I’m going to die of laughter.
Is this some kind of "Don't Laugh" challenge?
Stop it, seriously. My threshold for laughter is way too low.
I mean, sure, you’d normally think you could escape if you could fly.
But against Yuki-kun and his crew, you’re just a target.
It’s terrifying, really—anti-aircraft guns and firearms. Sniping from several kilometers away with that kind of absurd accuracy?
Well, they can even shoot down things that aren't just subsonic planes, but intercontinental ballistic missiles traveling at several times the speed of sound, provided the conditions are right.
It’s the kind of thing where thinking about it is just a waste of time.
It’s beyond the level of "the opponent is too strong."
*Ahaha*, I’d never even thought about the speed of sound before.
Man, Taizo-san’s lectures on scientific technology are so interesting.
Once this troublesome job is over, I really want to hole up in the lab and tinker with all sorts of things.
While I was thinking about that and holding back my laughter, Nonoa started talking to Nogosh.
"Nogosh, are you truly going to head there? It’s obviously a trap, isn't it?"
She was instructed to voice her concerns to draw out Nogosh’s true intentions.
Well, logically speaking, it’s suspicious that he’s cooperating so readily.
"It matters not. With this, I shall be able to openly cut down Nobutsuna’s disciple and that wicked hero, Taiki, who made a fool of me. After that, it will be the great villain of Weed, Yuki."
*Woooey.* Here comes the punchline!!
Even if they could somehow manage to push back Taizo-san and Taiki-kun, there’s no way they could kill them.
And trying to conquer Weed after that? Impossible.
Even if heaven and earth were turned upside down, it wouldn't happen.
Is this guy trying to make me laugh myself to death?
Endure it, I must endure it!! My undead body!!
The poker face I’ve honed through years of living without expressions!!
"…Do you truly believe you can accomplish such a thing?"
"Of course. I am well aware of my own capabilities."
In what way!?
This is bad, this guy is really bad!!
It’s hitting my abs directly!!
"And I have this katana. Behold this divine blade and its power!! It is truly a katana meant for me!!"
Ah, yeah.
I can feel it so strongly—he’s being completely swallowed up by the *Dojigiri Yasutsuna*.
Also, that sword is the biggest thing tightening the noose around your neck right now.
Taizo-san is currently furious.
Well, it’s actually the second sword, the *Shimazu Ichimonji*, that’s the real cause, but still.
"Well, as Nonoa says, there may be a one-in-a-million chance, but if we are to retreat, as I said before, it will be no problem with Nonoa here."
"Yes. I shall count on you then, Nonoa-sama."
"…*Sigh*, very well. And is this princess the Dungeon Master?"
"Indeed. She is the Dungeon Master, Princess Bitz, who was driven from her castle by that wicked hero, Taiki."
Could you please stop with that ridiculous introduction?
My abs are shredded from trying to hold back my laughter.
What am I supposed to do if I end up with a six-pack?
No man is going to approach a muscular wife!!
Well, not that I have any marriage plans or desires. I’m a corpse, after all.
"My apologies for the late greeting. I am Bitz, the legitimate successor to the Ranks Kingdom. Please, lend me your strength."
"You’re very polite. Well, since you’ve been taking care of us, I don't mind cooperating, but please don't push yourself."
*Kufufufu*, we’ve certainly been "taken care of" in many ways.
In that sense, I don't mind cooperating at all.
I’m more than happy to help.
Man, though, she can put on a good act, and I’ve seen her work back in her country—she must have been a solid administrator.
She just had the misfortune of picking the wrong opponent. That’s all there is to it.
If I say that, the same could be said for me, Hifie, and Noble, but personally, I think it’s good that things turned out this way.
If Yuki-kun hadn't been there, we wouldn't be in this harmonious state; we’d probably still be mired in war in the Hifie Holy Kingdom.
As I was thinking about this with deep emotion, Bitz showed off the sword at her waist and replied.
"I understand. However, my skills have improved considerably with this katana, the *Himezuru Ichimonji*, so you need not worry."
Oh?
She has a sword, too?
I’ll have to report this to Yuki-kun and the others.
The sword she’s carrying is the *Himezuru Ichimonji*, and it seems it belonged to another famous historical figure from Yuki-kun’s homeland, Japan.
Apparently, he was called a God of War just like Noble, but I’m not interested, so I don't remember the name.
Still, her swordsmanship has improved, has it?
I wonder if I should assume some strange ability has been attached to it?
*‘Flying people and corpse dolls this time, what a strange foreign land I’ve ended up in.’*
Hm? Did I hear something?
It sounded like a very old-fashioned way of speaking…
But there are no other men around besides Nogosh. Must be my imagination.
Ah, I have the call connected, maybe I heard someone on the other side?
"Regardless, our victory is now even more unshakable."
It’s already a guaranteed loss, though.
Well, the *Shuten-doji* is the biggest concern, but I don't think you guys have much of a future.
I mean, given the circumstances, it’s not like we can just chop off your heads and call it a day.
It’s all supposed to be secret, and if Nogosh, the leader of the Land of Swords, disappears, that would invite chaos.
The plan is for Nogosh to be beaten to a pulp and have his confidence as the God of Swords shattered. Poor guy.
Then, we’re supposed to use that to threaten and force him into submission.
Well, he already lost to Kamiizumi Nobutsuna once, so I don't know why he’s so confident.
I guess that’s what happens when your brain is made of muscle.
Anyway, after enduring Nogosh’s hilarious boasting and arriving near the Ranks border, Bitz stopped, activated her "Dig Here, Doggy" skill, and started fiddling with something.
"Please wait a moment. I’ll summon some monsters as decoys and have them wait in the forest…"
Hmm. She’s thinking at least a little bit.
I see. It would be dangerous to leave Bitz alone.
I don't think she’ll ever reach Yuki-kun’s level, but if she gets any more used to handling dungeons, she’ll become a troublesome opponent.
I finally understand why we were told that, in the worst case, we should just take Bitz out ourselves.
However, Bitz’s hands stopped, and she wore a surprised expression.
"Is something the matter?"
"…It’s strange. The DP hasn't increased that much. I specifically ordered them to raid the Adventurer’s Guild after we left…"
Ah, that’s because they already got taken care of.
By Mobe-san and the others.
Too bad. In that sense, you guys are truly cornered.
Still, the DP hasn't increased much, huh? I guess we can assume they have another source of income.