落とし穴８８堀：君たちはどちら派かね？（威圧） (Part2)
"Comet, you're on the side of the Mushroom Army, right?"
"No way, I’m clearly a Bamboo Shoot person. I mean, the Mushroom Army is just those things with chocolate on top, aren't they? They're no different from chocolate sticks. Bamboo Shoots have the chocolate perfectly blended into the cookie, so obviously, you'd choose Bamboo Shoots, right?"
"Sigh. Comet, you really don't understand how people feel. That’s exactly why you get cut down so easily."
"Ha! Perhaps that 'chocolate-on-a-stick' mushroom is a perfect match for a useless goddess who tinkers with corpses to make them her vanguard."
"“Oh!?”"
And just like that, they were back to their usual bickering, like cats and dogs. You two really do love rubbing salt in each other's wounds, don't you?
"Lilishe, which one do you prefer? I think I like the Mushroom one, it looks like a staff."
"As for me—I prefer the Bamboo Shoots. I don't like the Mushrooms because that soil-tinkerer over there grows them. The look on that soil-tinkerer's face when they found out I ate their precious crop... oh, ho ho ho..."
"You two really are never going to make up, are you?"
"That’s right. It’s absolutely impossible."
There’s no bad blood between the rest of us, but reconciliation between Lilishe and Faide seems infinitely far away.
In that vein, my wives ended up starting an internal conflict over the Mushroom Army versus the Bamboo Shoot Army. I didn't remember who belonged to which faction, but I was surprised to see Tori and Riel split into opposing sides during the skirmish. Those two usually get along just fine in the end, no matter what happens.
Also, as is tradition, the Hero Ria and the Demon Lord Deryu seemed unable to see eye-to-eye, finding themselves on opposing sides as well. Milly, Eris, Ratz, and the others didn't take sides, instead watching from the sidelines with troubled expressions. Well, I suppose it’s a question of whether you can really get that worked up over mushrooms versus bamboo shoots. In that sense, a certain rift was beginning to form.
Fear the Mushroom-Bamboo Shoot War.
And soon, the flames of war reached me, Taiki, and Taizo.
"Hey. Which one do you like? You can tell us the truth, you know?"
"Taiki-sama, you’re with me, right!?"
"Taizo-san, please cooperate with me so we can defeat that piece-of-junk Lich!!"
Seraria smiled at me, clearly expecting me to join her side. Airi looked at Taiki with a smile that said, *I trust you.* Hifie didn't even consider the possibility that Taizo would betray her.
Realizing that giving a clumsy answer would lead to a quagmire, we resorted to a forbidden technique.
"““Actually, we’re on the side of Koala’s Waltz.””"
"““!?!?!?!””"
The meeting descended into chaos. Afterward, the members who had been watching from the sidelines declared themselves for the Stump, the Alfort, and the Country Ma'am factions. The Great Chocolate War transitioned into a taste-testing battle, ending in a draw when everyone became too full and nauseous to eat any more chocolate.
That was the conclusion of the First Mushroom-Bamboo Shoot War in Aulrit.
"Ever since then, it’s been kind of hard to eat them, hasn't it?"
"I know what you mean."
Taiki and I sat there, munching away as we lined up the packages, eating both Mushrooms and Bamboo Shoots without prejudice. Both are delicious. It really shows the depth of human folly that people can't just leave it at that.
"Hey. Yuki, what are you eating?"
"Oh, Yuki-sama. These are snacks made with chocolate, aren't they?"
"“Ah.”"
Kagura and Catherine peeked over at our stash. It was too late. We were on the verge of sparking a Kamishiro Dukedom versus Baide Earldom war over the snacks. If that princess had been there too, who knows what would have happened?
At the very least, I learned that it’s better to eat these things in secret so there are no hard feelings. I can just insist that I was eating them for no particular reason.
"I guess this is just a clear example of how people will fight over anything, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I suppose you're right."
As we traveled, I felt like I finally understood Taiki's point, and I was reminded once again of how deep human folly truly runs.
***
Note: I’ll say this in the afterword because it’s important.
This story does not support any specific faction.
I think they’re both delicious.
So, which side are you on?
Finally, regarding the question of what will happen to Kagura from yesterday—the answer is overwhelmingly "Yuki."
What on earth did that guy do?
He’s a harem protagonist, so why is he so supported!? I don't understand it.
No, I suppose the fact that he intentionally avoids it is what makes it interesting.
Usually, you have characters who end up in a harem unconsciously, or are indecisive, or are actively aiming for a harem, but Yuki isn't that kind of standard character.
I think the appeal lies in the gap between his outward situation and his grounded, ordinary-person mindset.