落とし穴９５堀：繰り返される悲劇 (Part1)
**Dungeon Pit 95: The Repeated Tragedy**
**Side: Comet**
We were supposed to be here as test monitors for a "real" haunted house, one that some useless goddess had gone and "magically renovated" on her own whim. But...
"Attention!! State your affiliation, name, and rank!!"
"Sir!! Imperial Japanese Army!! Solomon Islands theater, 17th Army, 6th Division, 13th Infantry Regiment, 4th Platoon!! Corporal Goro Yamamoto, reporting for duty!!"
The situation had devolved into something entirely inappropriate for a haunted house.
"Um, Taizo-san? Isn't this a bit too intense?"
"Not at all. It is unacceptable for honorable soldiers of the Japanese Imperial Army to be reduced to scaring people for a living. Isn't that right, Corporal Yamamoto?!"
"Sir!! We would never do such a thing!! Captain!!"
"Since the commanding officer is absent, I am assuming temporary command!!"
"Sir!!"
And so, for some reason, Taizo-san was busy taming the spirits of the old Japanese soldiers who had appeared in the abandoned school.
"Hanako-chan, what do you want to play?"
"What shall we play?"
"Um... I want to try... soccer..."
"The schoolyard is off-limits, so let's go to the gymnasium."
"Yay!!"
"A-ah, w-wait a second..."
The two little ones had gone off to play with a spirit of a girl with a bob cut named Hanako.
"...Listen, if you want to live here in peace, don't you think it would be better to negotiate with me instead of that useless goddess?"
"Sh-shiver...!!"
"Um, Yuki-san? I really feel bad for the anatomical models and the skeletal specimens..."
"Then, Taiki-kun, do you want to take responsibility and keep Luna's plaything company? Time doesn't pass here, but mental fatigue is unavoidable, you know?"
"Alright. If you don't want to be erased, don't go against us. Hey, you, the hanging male student, look over here!! Do you recognize this paper charm? It’s a handmade one by Shuten-doji-sama. Do you want to burn up and go to paradise? Huh?"
"Eeeek! I'm sorry!!"
Yuki-kun and Taiki-kun were busy threatening the ghosts and yokai. It was impossible to tell who was actually here for a test of courage.
"...How on earth did it end up like this?" Zargis muttered, watching the same catastrophe unfold beside me.
"Well, the cause is clearly whatever Luna-san did, as usual."
Yes, no matter how you look at it, the cause is that goddess.
"...Though it seems the indirect cause lies with Her Majesty and the others."
"Well, that’s true, but the primary failure is still Luna-san, isn't it?"
"Indeed... *sigh*."
Zargis agreed and let out a deep sigh. And then, I remembered that moment—the reason why things had turned out this way.
It all started when Seraria and her group, who had entered the school first for the test of courage, returned. Well, from our perspective, they had come out almost immediately after entering, but their state was incredible. Truly incredible.
Seraria, Eris, and Ratz, who had just been boasting, "I'll exterminate any ghost that shows up!", and who had listened to those words with wry smiles, emerged in a state of total disarray.
The first thing that caught the eye was their appearance. Seraria, Eris, and Ratz were the top brass of Weed; they always paid close attention to their grooming. Even in battle, they never had a hair out of place, and they had handled the conflicts on the If Continent without a single wrinkle in their clothes. But now, their hair was a mess, their shirts were untucked, and their midriffs were exposed—a truly pathetic sight. Furthermore, their faces were twisted in grim determination, and they were panting heavily, gasping for air.
Oh, but it was just their appearance; they didn't have a single scratch on them. It seemed Luna had kept her promise on that front.
If it had ended there, we could have just assumed they were startled by the haunted house. But immediately after they returned, a deafening roar echoed from the school.
*CRASH! BANG! BOOM!*
It sounded as if the entire interior of the school had been tossed into a blender. Everyone flinched and looked up at the building. At the same time, Luna, who was with us, let out a loud shriek.
"Aaaaaahhh!? Seraria, what have you all done!?"
She was panicking while looking at something like a monitor screen. No, wait, was that a "dig-here-dog" screen? Regardless, Seraria and the others looked back at Luna with refreshing smiles.
"What do you mean? We used everything inside the school that we could to exterminate the things attacking us."
"Is that why!? Most of the equipment is destroyed!? Think about the concept of 'moderation'!"
I see. So, the moment they returned, the time that had been frozen inside the school resumed, causing everything they had smashed to break all at once, sending the sound echoing throughout the school. It was a real-life poltergeist.
"I-I apologize. It was such an emergency."
"Yes. We truly thought we were going to be killed, so we fought back."
"It's Luna's fault. There wasn't a rule saying we couldn't break the equipment."
"Who breaks the props in a haunted house!? You're banned from the amusement park!!"
Ah, I see. From the perspective of Seraria and the rest of us—the Arrow-Lithians—our recognition of "entertainment" is almost non-existent. That’s why they rampaged with full force.
Actually, the same could be said for Earth; when providing horror attractions, you give warnings beforehand and implement measures like one-way paths to prevent unexpected chaos. Haunted houses are basically single-path routes, and distance is kept from the props so participants don't touch them recklessly. If you don't do that, the extras—the people working as ghosts—are in danger.
Luna had said it was "authentic," but she hadn't considered any of those precautions. Exploring a whole school? Of course, if you don't have strict rules, even Japanese people would end up doing the same thing. Especially since the only exit conditions were finding a key or declaring a surrender. She claimed that if you couldn't move, the ghosts would help you, but that was clearly counter-productive.
Man, preparation and review are important. I'm glad I studied Japan. You never know what might come in handy.
As I was thinking this, Yuki-kun spoke to Luna.
"Hey, Luna."
"What!? I'm busy with repairs, it's a nightmare!! Ugh, the mops are almost all totaled!? I can't just buy new ones, and it's actually hard to source used mops!"
"That’s probably true, but let's leave that aside. How are you communicating the 'extra' work to the ghosts?"
"Work? They just have to scare people, right? What are you talking about?"
"...Did you not set any degrees or restrictions?"
"I told them not to kill or cause harm, didn't I?"
"Is that it!? At the very least, set patrol routes, define their appearance ranges, and set up safe zones!! If they get chased forever, anyone would panic!"
"Ah, now that you mention it, you're right. I heard that after Seraria and the others rampaged, the ghosts gathered in large numbers to try and calm them down, but it didn't work."
"That’s counter-productive."
If a group of ghosts that you can't attack keeps closing in on you, anyone would run and rampage for their lives. I would do the same.
"Hmm. Room for improvement, then. *Sigh*."
"For now, hand over the roster. I'm going to interview them. It is my territory, after all."
"It really annoys me to hand it over to you so easily..."
"You..."
It was just like Luna, but I really wanted her to just hand it over quietly. I felt like Yuki-kun was about to snap. Ignoring that, Luna’s face lit up as if she’d had an idea.
"Alright!! The equipment is already broken anyway, so let's just do the interviews now!!"
"Huh? You're going to summon them here? We don't have time."
"What are you saying? If you interview them inside, time doesn't pass. Plus, you can inspect the internal situation. It's a one-stop shop for extra training! Though, Yuki, you'll have to do the capturing."
"What!? I'm not playing tag!?"
"Well, if you want to be recognized as an employer, you have to be able to do at least that!! As a gesture of mercy, I'll send everyone in at once. Oh, I'll keep Seraria and the others out, though. I don't want them breaking anything else. Oh, and I'll make it a random teleport."
"Wait, you—!?"
Yes!? Everyone at once!? That means...
"Well then, enjoy yourselves to the fullest."
And just like that, we were all tossed into the abandoned school, and after exploring with Zargis, who I’d teamed up with, we arrived to find this mess.