第６５４堀：神の審判 被告ポンコツ：再臨 (Part1)
### Chapter 654: Divine Judgment, Defendant: The Useless Goddess Returns
**Side: Yuki**
Getting involved in other people's messy affairs is the hallmark of a fool.
In fact, it’s best to keep your hands off entirely, as it often leads to even more trouble. Every household has its own circumstances, and as the scale grows from village to town to nation, the impact of any intervention only amplifies. At the level of domestic squabbles, a simple "thank you" or a shared meal might suffice, but anything beyond that requires a formal gesture of gratitude to avoid being labeled rude. Conversely, the one who helped must also be prepared to respond appropriately.
Moreover, if you don't understand the culture and customs of the parties involved, you’re just inviting disaster. This is a prime example of how things get complicated. That’s assuming the problem is solved successfully, of course; if you fail, you risk being dragged into the quagmire of their personal conflict, suffering the consequences yourself.
To put it bluntly, what I’m trying to say is…
"What? I’m in the middle of catching up on my recorded dramas."
Yes. I had decided to leave the disposal of this matter to Luna—the useless goddess, the goddess of incompetence, currently wearing a jersey and looking completely unmotivated.
"Here. I caught the lackey of a mid-level god—or someone of that sort."
I signaled Steve to place the safe containing the shattered core right in front of Luna.
"Huh? You already caught him?"
Luna’s eyes went wide with shock. I couldn't blame her. She had likely been bracing herself for a full-scale war involving the headquarters of the Haire religion and the Mad King. Instead, this was the result.
"He was still at the Haire headquarters. Or rather, it seems he’d been surviving as nothing more than a spirit inside the broken treasure orb—the core—within that safe."
"Ah, I see. No wonder I could feel a trace of magical power in that area but couldn't pin down a physical presence. His body was already gone."
Luna clapped her hands together in realization. Well, the gods around here generally have physical forms, so if she had been searching under that premise, she would never have found him.
"Anyway, that’s fine, but who are the dead folks behind you? They look like liches?"
"Oh, right. These are the heroes from that era who struck down the mid-level god’s subordinate, Aquenoki. It seems the Dungeon Master you chose played a part in the subjugation, too."
At my words, Sota-san and the others behind me offered a subtle bow. I had thought it might be unnecessary for them to be disillusioned by seeing such a pathetic goddess, but I brought them along because they had expressed a desire to see how Aquenoki would be handled, to meet the Great Goddess Amaterasu, and to speak with the Archbishop.
There were over ten people crammed into this tiny 2LDK apartment. Kagura and the others were still lounging in the bath. Incidentally, as per the usual routine, Sota-san was feeling nostalgic for the scenery of Weed, while Enor-san, the Archbishop, and Prince Age were frozen with their mouths agape, having been ushered here by Princess Carrie and Princess Stasia.
At first, they had remarked, "As expected of a place where a god dwells," upon seeing the reasonably large apartment building, but their expressions soured when they learned she only rented a single room in one corner. Sota-san had tried desperately to hold back his laughter, only to be smacked by Enor-san when she caught him.
And then, the person who emerged from the door was a worn-out woman in a jersey. Who would believe this was the Great Goddess Amaterasu?
"Ugh? Why are people from such a long time ago here? Did you bring them back to life? Even if you want information, digging up graves isn't exactly a good idea, you know?"
"Who the hell would do something so sacrilegious? The one who did that was Aquenoki."
"Ah, the guy you were planning to use as a subordinate?"
"Exactly. But a guy named Hairen—who defeated the Dungeon Master and Aquenoki—intervened, allowing them to keep their sense of self."
"Heh. Aquenoki really was sloppy. So, you reconciled with these dead folks and brought Aquenoki here to be dealt with?"
"That’s right. I couldn't just dispose of him on my own."
I offered that as a pretext. My true goal was to shift the responsibility onto this useless goddess, as dealing with it ourselves was too risky. If anything went wrong, I could just say, "It’s that useless goddess's fault," and very few would be able to complain.
But, being the useless goddess she is, she retorted:
"Ugh, just burn it yourself. If you bring it here, I have to listen to his excuses, don't I? Are you an idiot? Besides, I can't let this many people into my room. Are you stupid? And if you're coming, you should make an appointment! That’s common sense for a working adult!"
I felt a surge of irritation, but I held it in. Since she’d been dumping various chores on me, I had to get my revenge.
"You always pretend not to be home, so I came directly. I know today is your day off."
"Ugaaa!? Don't target me like that!! I'm not free, you know!! Can't I just laze around at home on my rare day off!?"
"So, you *are* lazing around and are free. Let’s go."
"You always have an answer for everything, as usual!! Fine, I get it. Jeez..."
Luna grumbled, but she retreated into the back of the room, changed into her usual office lady attire, and we headed toward the military facility. Naturally, we couldn't hold a hearing for Aquenoki in front of her apartment.
As we left the apartment, however...
"Oh, Luna. Heading to work now?"
"Yeah, it's a real pain."
"Haha, sounds rough. Well, it looks like today is a no-go, so how about we go for a drink tomorrow?"
"Oh! Definitely, let's go."
"I'll get in touch with Hifi, Lilishe, and Nonoa, so let's meet at the usual spot."
"You got it."
She was making plans to drink with a woman who looked to be about her age—presumably a neighbor—so it seemed her relationships with the locals were good. But did that woman realize who she was drinking with? Or perhaps...
"Hey, you. You didn't tell her she's some kind of goddess, did you?"
"Hmm? No, no, she's a resident of Weed. She's a sharp office lady who works hard at the trading company, and we just hit it off, so we drink together sometimes. You know, we're both hard-working women, right?"
"...I suppose so."
I decided to stop asking and moved on quietly. Princess Carrie and the others, having only heard the beginning of the conversation, had turned pale and were bowing repeatedly to a woman who was nothing more than a drinking buddy. They clearly mistook her for someone incredibly important. The woman herself, however, just gave a casual nod as if she were just an acquaintance of Luna's and headed back home.
Luna has so many high-profile visitors that she and others have cast perception-blocking magic, so even when the woman met me, Ria, Deryu, or Rurua, she couldn't recognize us for who we were. We likely appeared to her as nothing more than "Friend of Luna #1." If that weren't the case, that woman's stomach would likely be destroyed by the stress.
The "pretending not to be home" tactic was also a strategy born of necessity due to the sheer volume of VIPs. It’s common knowledge among the upper echelons of the three major nations on the Rogari continent—where Weed is located—that Luna is a high-level god, so many come to curry favor with her. This was also a result of her getting carried away and serving sake that exceeded the quality of elixirs during the New Year, leading to her being flattered and asked for advice. It was self-inflicted.
According to her, "It felt nice to be revered as a god." Having been ignored when she claimed to be a god back on modern Earth, she must have been happy... even if it was just delusional rambling.
Anyway, that’s beside the point. Let’s focus on the present.
"Boss. Everyone is in position."
Steve and the members of the Goblin Special Forces reported in. Naturally, we weren't going to have a conversation with Aquenoki—the one called the Mad King, Ahondara—with just Luna and the VIPs. We had mobilized all the wives, ready to turn him into a beehive at a moment's notice. Since they were equipped with Narjia-made gear, you can imagine how serious we were.
Of course, Zargis and his team were also prepared to record everything, so I expect that future methods for dealing with these "divine spirits" will be much more efficient than this.