落とし穴１３１堀：らいねんのえと (Part1)
Pitfall 131: Next Year’s Zodiac
Side: John
"Haa... haa..."
The sound of my own ragged breathing feels unnervingly loud. It’s rare for me to be this winded, and since the place I’m currently hiding in is deathly quiet, the sound of my breath seems to echo even more intensely.
Just as I’m hunkered down, holding my breath...
*Click.*
The sound of a door opening reaches my ears. I instinctively press a hand over my mouth, stopping my breath entirely.
"Not here, huh. Tch, where the hell did he run off to? That bastard."
*Thud.*
With that, the door closes immediately. Steve, having only taken a cursory glance into the room, walks away. That idiot—he let his guard down, assuming there was nowhere in this room for me to hide.
This is one of the storage rooms at the Monster Army headquarters. It’s filled with spare equipment like desks, and tucked away among a stack of folded tables, there’s a gap just large enough for me to squeeze into. Thanks to that, I’ve managed to evade Steve’s pursuit for the time being, but...
"What on earth is going on?"
I still haven’t grasped the situation. Suddenly, Steve had appeared in my office...
*"Found you. Kappa-Boar."*
*"Hm? Did a plate finally start growing on your head? Am I looking at a future Cucumber Meister?"*
*"Like hell you are, you moron!! Whatever, that’s not the point. Come with me. Big Sis Seraria is calling for you."*
*"Huh? Why didn't she contact me directly?"*
If it were Big Sis Seraria, she’d usually contact me directly—at least, for normal business. That means there’s a high probability of trouble. So, when I pressed him for details...
*"Well, obviously. You weren't specifically requested, John. But based on the nature of the job, I figured you were the most suitable, so I came to get you."*
Moreover, judging by Steve’s tone, it sounded like they were planning to use me as a sacrificial lamb. Jobs of that nature are notoriously awful. So, I did what any sensible person would do...
*"If I’m going to do a job that rotten, I’d rather go work in the fields and increase our food supply!!"*
I said that and bolted.
*"Tch, he really ran, that cucumber-obsessed freak. All-hall emergency alert!! General John is refusing orders and fleeing!! Catch him!!"*
*"You’re going that far!?"*
*"You bet I am. It’s punishment for always pushing your annoying tasks onto me!!"*
Tch. Since that’s actually true, I can’t even complain. So, I had no choice but to run for my life...
"...Still, that bastard. He actually mobilized the entire army for a man-hunt—or rather, an 'Orc-hunt.' And what’s more..."
*"Anyone who catches General John is guaranteed a cash bonus, up to five people!"*
*" " "Ohhh!!" "*
He even put a bounty on my head, disguised as a "bonus." Thanks to that, all my subordinates are now my enemies. I thought one of them was approaching with a smile, only for them to say:
*"General John, it’s General Steve’s orders."*
*"Besides, it’s almost the end of the year and the start of the new one; I want to be able to feed my wife and kids something decent."*
Saying that, they tried to throw a rope they’d been hiding behind their back with a smile on their face. I had no choice but to break through my own men’s lines, and now I’m hiding deep within the army’s facilities, surrounded by a hellish net of pursuers.
"But if it weren't for this optical camouflage device, I’d be in real trouble."
This dungeon is under Yuki’s management, and security is tight. Through the call screen, the locations of all living beings and monsters emitting magical power are clearly visible. However, this optical camouflage device is a masterpiece; it doesn't just make you invisible—it also suppresses your magical signature. It’s an auxiliary tool primarily prepared for conquering the dungeons of hostile Dungeon Masters, but I never imagined I’d end up using it in my own dungeon.
"But the worst part is not knowing how long I have to keep running."
It’s been about an hour since I went on the run. The army’s alert status hasn't been lifted, which means they’re still hunting for me. Those guys have way too much free time.
At this point, I have two choices: crush Steve for ordering my capture, or try to consult with Big Sis Seraria, who requested the job...
"No, if I crush Steve, he’ll complain about everything and take a few days off. That would make things incredibly difficult for the rest of us, so that’s a no-go."
Steve might be a pain, but he’s competent. If he’s gone, we’re all in trouble. I have to think about the secondary damage.
That leaves talking to Big Sis Seraria directly, but... if the job turns out to be something like a mock battle, my entire day will be wasted on training. Big Sis is a sore loser, but she also gets angry if you let her win. She’s the type who won’t be satisfied unless you fight seriously and win. That means it’ll drag on forever. It only ends when she runs out of stamina or it’s time for dinner.
Well, if it were a mock battle with swords where the conditions were equal, it might end quickly since she’s skilled with a blade. But what she always wants to do is break our usual fighting style and win. You can imagine how futile it is to pit guns against swords. Well, she uses guns when we do, but there’s a difference in proficiency. It’s not like I’d lose a shootout to her easily, and we know the battlefield better since we use it for training.
In the end, talking to Big Sis feels like stepping on a landmine.
"Then, it’s a direct appeal to the Boss."
The only one who can suppress the tyranny of these Big Sisters is the Boss. Well, even he can’t stop them all the time, but he’ll at least put a stop to things when they go too far.
"Now, the plan is set, but how should I contact him...?"
Should I try to escape? If I do, I’ll definitely be chased. If Steve and his crew join the fray, escaping will be extremely difficult.
"A call, then? But I have to worry about wiretapping and triangulation..."
It’s a tough spot. Wiretapping and triangulation are only used in our internal training, so the guys here are off their guard. But that doesn't mean it’s impossible to be detected. Still, the probability is low.
Escaping the military facility using the optical camouflage device seems like a possibility, but naturally, that route has been blocked. Looking out the window, I see plenty of wolf-type and snake-type monsters sniffing around and keeping watch. The weaknesses of the optical camouflage device are scent, ultrasonic waves, and thermal detection. It has surprisingly many weaknesses.
Well, for a device with this level of performance, I should be grateful, but it has too many flaws to use against the Weed crew, who know all the ins and outs of these tactics.
"In that case, the only option left is to contact him via call. Well, if I get caught, I get caught."
Resigned, I decide to contact the Boss. I set the call output to the minimum to take precautions. Boss, please, pick up!!
Perhaps my wish was heard...
*"Hm? John, what’s up?"*
Luckily, the Boss picked up quite easily.
*"Wait, there’s a lot of noise. Are you training in a magic-depleted zone? Did an accident happen?"*
"No, it’s not that. Actually..."
I explain the situation. How Steve, that idiot, suddenly ordered my capture, how I’ve been running for nearly an hour, and that the order apparently came from Big Sis Seraria. When I tell him I have no idea what’s going on, he says...