落とし穴１３８堀：あまいあまーい日の後始末 (Part2)
We stood there, utterly speechless at the scene unfolding before us.
There lay Steve, submerged in a pool of what appeared to be his own blood.
I stepped forward, reflexively reaching out to check his pulse...
"It's no use. He still has a pulse; he's alive."
"What do you mean 'no use'!?"
Steve shot up instantly, retorting to my dry humor. Naturally, this sent a spray of blood scattering across the room. It didn't just splatter the floor; it rained down on us, too. But we weren't foolish enough to stand there and take it, so we leaped back just in time.
"Ugh, gross!"
"Steve... please show a little more consideration for your surroundings. You're going to ruin the kimono the Master gave me. Do you want to die?"
John and Kirika responded to the resurrected Steve with absolute, sub-zero indifference.
"You guys are the worst coworkers ever! Dammit!"
"Well, for now, wipe yourself off. Or better yet, go to the bath and wash up. The smell of blood is unbearable, and you can't exactly sit in the living room like that, can you?"
"I guess you're right. I'll go wash this off."
And so, while Steve was in the shower, we began cleaning up the blood scattered about the room...
"Hm? This isn't blood."
"Oh, you're right. It’s dark red, but this is..."
Ria reached out to touch a clump of the substance... and snapped it in two. A distinct aroma of chocolate filled the air.
"The only real blood is where Steve's face was. I suppose that was just a nosebleed."
As Jessica pointed out, upon closer inspection, the blood was only present where Steve’s head had been resting; the rest was entirely chocolate.
"...Why on earth is chocolate splattered all over the floor?"
"Who knows? Maybe Steve knows."
With that, we finished cleaning the chocolate-and-blood-stained floor and waited for Steve to return, freshly scrubbed and ready to explain.
"You slipped on spilled chocolate, face-planted, and knocked yourself out?"
The answer we received was as dim-witted as it sounded.
Steve had thought he’d finally escaped the "chocolate hell," but reality was cruel. Alfin had served the leftover chocolate for breakfast again that morning, plunging Steve into despair. However, when Alfin left the house early for school business, Steve had an epiphany.
"I figured I’d just pretend to eat it and toss it out."
"...You say that so casually, but that’s pretty low, Steve."
"As a man, you should accept love with dignity and consume every last bit of it."
"You really are trash. I suppose a goblin will always be a goblin."
"So, are you guys gonna help me? Alfin said there’s even more she wants me to eat, you know?"
"..."
The women turned their heads toward the horizon, pointedly ignoring him.
Well, everyone knew Alfin’s bad habit. No matter how much you liked sweets, Alfin would provide them until you grew to loathe them.
"Anyway, I’m sorry I slipped, passed out, and ended up late."
"Well, at least we know the cause now. Just be more careful next time."
"Got it."
Just as we were about to wrap things up with a sense of "all's well that ends well"...
"I'm home! Oh? Steve, you're still here? And Yuki-san, too. Are you here for work? Perfect timing."
Alfin had returned, carrying a massive cardboard box. She then proceeded to say...
"The teachers told us to bring home the leftover chocolate from the Valentine's Day workshop. I wasn't sure what to do with it, but we can all eat—"
"Right, we’re busy, so we’re heading out. Oh, Alfin, Steve is taking the day off today."
The words of self-preservation slipped from my mouth before I could stop them.
"Wait, what!?"
Steve was dumbstruck, but it couldn't be helped. Just as a car can't stop on a dime, a mouth that’s already opened can't be shut so easily.
"Make sure he eats his fill. You can just share the rest with us later."
"Oh, I see. Understood. I’ll use all my skills to make some delicious chocolate treats."
"Right. Well, we’ll be going."
"Ah, ahaha. Alfin, I’m looking forward to it."
"Yes, I have high expectations."
"Steve, I’ll handle your work today. Enjoy some quality time with your wife."
"...Rest in peace."
"Hey, wait a minute! Are you guys really abandoning me!? And John, Kirika, watch your mouths!"
"Oh, Steve, you’re so shy. You really should accept everyone’s kindness honestly. Let’s make sweets together today."
Alfin interpreted Steve’s protest in the most positive light possible. She is a terrifying force.
"So? That’s how we ended up with all this chocolate. ...Sakura, Sumire, want some?"
"I'm full."
"I don't want any either."
And so, the chocolate that Alfin and Steve worked so hard on was distributed among the group, and we somehow managed to consume it all...
*Victory is the time to tighten one's helmet straps.*
*Beware of complacency.*
Well, that’s the gist of it.
What? That’s not it?
Well, whether it’s Eho-maki or chocolate, I suppose mass disposal is always a problem.