落とし穴外伝：焼きそばについて
Side: Yupia
Before me sits a dish of *yakisoba*—stir-fried noodles—wafting an aroma of savory sauce that immediately stirs the appetite. The preparation is deceptively simple: sauté meat and vegetables, toss in the noodles, stir-fry them together, and coat everything in a rich, dark sauce.
And yet, that sauce—the very soul of the dish—is notoriously difficult to master. We have attempted to develop our own version back home, but we have yet to produce anything that truly satisfies. The base consists of seasonings like salt and soy sauce, blended with various vegetables and fruits. The slightest shift in ratios or ingredients transforms the flavor entirely. We have had some successes, of course, but...
"Mmm. Truly delicious. I still cannot surpass this," I murmur, stuffing my cheeks with the noodles.
The rich, complex flavor of the sauce spreads across my palate, harmonizing perfectly with the meat and vegetables. If the sauce were too heavy, it would drown out the essence of the ingredients; it is a balance of exquisite precision. It is not merely a matter of the components, I suspect, but the hand of the chef that brings it to life.
"Setting that aside, I must ask—why is it that you, Yuki-dono, are the one doing the cooking?"
"Well, it’s a hobby of mine. Here, try some seafood salt-yakisoba."
"Oh! Wait, to be able to cook at this level as a mere hobby is staggering. Don't you agree, Show?"
"Indeed. If he is this skilled, the professional chefs would have no place left to stand. Ah, this is divine. The taste of the sea is spreading through my mouth."
Show agrees with my assessment while happily tucking into the salt-yakisoba. The scent wafting from her plate makes me crave it as well...
"Here, I made extra. You want some, right?"
Perhaps sensing my intent, he offers it to me immediately.
"Oh, my thanks. You are remarkably attentive."
"It’s just how we do things around here."
"Around here... come to think of it, you have no dedicated chef, do you?"
"Nope. We usually take turns, and the two maids, Kirue and Sasari, help out every day. They get their time off, of course."
"Taking turns, is it? I understand the sentiment, but considering the sheer volume of work, did you never consider hiring someone?"
Yuki-dono is the Prince Consort, and Seraria-dono is the Queen. His wives, too, hold positions of great importance. I fail to see the merit in wasting time on the triviality of cooking.
"I told you, it’s a hobby. Seraria mentioned that her mother used to bake cookies for her when she was a child. And more importantly..."
"More importantly?"
"As far as I know, there are only four people in this world who can recreate the authentic flavors of Japan."
"Hmm, that is true."
Yuki-dono is an outworlder, summoned by the gods from a different realm. It stands to reason that only those from his world could truly replicate its tastes.
"That explains why curry never spread. Nor grilled meat, nor tempura."
"My apologies."
I offer a sincere apology. There is no doubt that the proliferation of these delicious foods is entirely thanks to Yuki-dono. The thought of a world without curry is enough to make me want to die.
"But Yuki-sama, it is fascinating how many variations of yakisoba there are. Just as there were with curry, omelet rice, and pasta."
"Indeed. Simply by swapping the sauce for salt, the character of the dish changes entirely."
The seafood salt-yakisoba lacks the rich depth of the sauce version, but it highlights the natural flavors of the salt and the seafood, making it incredibly delicious. There is also a seafood version with sauce, but choosing between them is an impossible task.
"Well, these things tend to be adapted locally, you see."
"Hm? What do you mean?"
"The main ingredient is the noodles, and the toppings usually end up being whatever is available in that region."
"Ah, I see. In a place with a fishing port, it becomes seafood. In the mountains, it becomes a vegetable stir-fry?"
"Exactly. It’s also a staple of 'poverty cuisine.'"
"Poverty cuisine?" Show and I tilt our heads in unison, confused.
"Good timing. I’ll whip some up right now."
With that, Yuki-dono steps behind the counter and begins to work. I expect it to take some time, but before I have even finished the first plate, he brings out the next.
"That was fast. Wait, what is this?"
"Just noodles? And one with nothing but bean sprouts?"
As Show noted, the yakisoba before us is exactly that. A version with no toppings at all, and another with only bean sprouts. This is...
"It’s a great way for poor students to fill their stomachs without spending much money. And above all, it’s delicious."
Saying this, Yuki-dono doesn't hesitate to pick up the plain noodles with his chopsticks and eat.
"It’s got a great feel. Ah, this is tasty too. Want to try?"
"Very well. I suppose there is no harm in trying."
"Indeed."
Since Yuki-dono went to the trouble of making it, it would be rude to refuse. We both reach out with our chopsticks.
"Hm?"
"Yes?"
We look at each other, stunned. The reason being...
"Delicious!"
It is, quite simply, delicious. Even though it is nothing more than fried noodles tossed in sauce.
"Told you. You just sprinkle a little salt and pepper, stir-fry it with the sauce, and the flavor of the noodles themselves really shines through."
"Ah, so this is the taste of the noodles."
"I see. I hadn't paid much attention to the noodles themselves, but just as ramen differs between thin, thick, and curly, this is the same."
By stripping away the extra ingredients—though I hesitate to call them 'extra'—the flavor of the noodles becomes clear. And it is remarkably good.
"As you can probably tell, since there are no other ingredients, it’s very cheap to make."
"I see. It is indeed 'poverty cuisine,' but it is satisfyingly delicious. In that case..."
"Let us try the bean sprout version as well."
Next, our interest is piqued by the bean sprout yakisoba. We try it, and despite being nothing but bean sprouts, it is equally excellent.
"The texture of the sprouts and the salt and pepper are in perfect harmony."
"Indeed. Is it that the sprouts provide more of an accent than the noodles themselves?"
"Exactly. It is bean sprout yakisoba, after all. And for a student, it’s a double benefit—you get your vegetables, too. And of course, it’s a bargain."
I see. These are truly excellent for those without much money. More than that, they are genuinely delicious. Before I know it, my plate is empty.
"These were born out of necessity in times of poverty. I owed them a lot myself."
"There was a time when you were short on money, Yuki-dono?"
"That is a surprise."
I cannot imagine a man like him struggling to find food due to a lack of funds.
"Unfortunately, I was just an ordinary person before I came here. I had about as much money as the average person. I had to cut corners in my daily life. Though, sometimes it was just because I was too lazy to go shopping."
"Everyone has a history. Though, I feel your history is particularly tumultuous."
"I agree."
"I want to deny it, but I cannot. Well, it’s fun to have a conversation expand like this over a single plate of yakisoba, isn't it?"
"Indeed. Though, it is only recently that I have been able to eat a warm meal while chatting at my leisure. Poisoning attempts are such a nuisance."
"Indeed. We are truly grateful to you, Yuki-sama."
It is not that we are incapable of detoxification, but preventing it is quite difficult. It was Yuki-dono who gave us rings with detoxifying properties. While we have translation functions, the ability to enjoy a warm, delicious meal without fear is a blessing beyond words. And since one cannot be poisoned here in Weed, we can simply wander into a shop and eat. It is a wonderful thing.
"Meals are necessary to live, and if you can eat well, it gives you vitality, doesn't it?"
"That is true. I feel it deeply. However, speaking of yakisoba, I recall eating it at the beach or summer festivals, and it felt much cruder, yet it was still delicious, was it not?"
"Now that you mention it, that is true. It feels several steps inferior to this, yet it was never bad, was it?"
"Haha, that’s because you’re calling it 'bad.' Food from those stalls is made in large quantities, so there’s no time to refine the flavor. If there is a secret, it’s the environment."
"The environment?"
"Yes. Who you eat with, what you are looking at while you eat. Those things are important. Eating in a stark, white, empty space with nothing but a table and chairs would be flavorless, wouldn't it?"
"Indeed. Eating in such a place would likely kill one's appetite."
"I see. So the environment is important as well."
Now that he mentions it, that is true. I would have no desire to eat in the middle of a pile of corpses, nor would I find it delicious.
"Well then, for the finale—it’s a bit different from standard yakisoba, but here is some *kawara-yaki* soba."
"Wait, that's still yakisoba!"
What he brought out was yakisoba served on a *kawara*—a ceramic roof tile from a Japanese-style house—meant to be dipped in broth.
As for the taste...
"Delicious!!"
It was surprisingly, shockingly good. Yakisoba is a fearsome thing. The versatility of those noodles is truly a marvel.