195 Transformation

"Where are you now, then?"

Gyurie's question made me think.

"Which way do I appear to you?"

After pondering, I turned it back on him.

Answering a question with a question—there was no alternative.

I did not know the answer to Gyurie's question myself.

"Either way, or neither. You are currently in a state so mixed that it cannot be defined as either. However, your consciousness seems closer to Ariel's."

"Ahh, yeah, figured as much."

He scratched his head with a dry laugh.

I had anticipated it. Still, hearing it confirmed by another brought a quiet sense of acknowledgment.

"Your tone is closer to hers."

"Yeah. Also, I think my thoughts are leaning that way too."

Otherwise, I wouldn't be this optimistic.

The me before this was cautious, fearful.

Experiencing the dissolution of self in real time, and still not mentally broken—this was proof enough.

"What will you do now, then?"

"I don't know."

I truly don’t.

In this state, where souls have already merged, defeating the original body would be too late.

And the greatest obstacle was that I could not conceive a method to destroy it.

Even if I succeeded, it would revive mysteriously. And since it possesses transfer ability, capture would not be simple.

The only reason I managed to confront it before was luck—and because the original body was foolish.

Chasing it would not result in capture. Even if captured, it could not be destroyed.

Even if destroyed, I would not return to who I was.

There was no guarantee that further erosion would stop.

A complete deadlock.

I’m honestly done for. Whether I remain myself is fifty-fifty at best. And even if I do, whether that self still counts as me is unclear. In that sense, the existence of Ariel has already undergone corruption and ceased to be.

Not dead. Not quite.

I retain Ariel’s memories. I retain Ariel’s feelings.

But the way I think is different from how it once was.

Can this still be called me?

A question without answer.

"Why didn’t you consult me until now?"

Gyurie asked, her expression slightly sorrowful.

"I’m not sure what I’d have said to someone who drinks with an enemy."

She arrived with a serious face, but my sense of smell does not deceive.

Gyurie is drinking.

And from the faint scent lingering, she has recently made contact with the core of the enemy I oppose.

The scent is not only the one I smelled before—there is also the smell of a human. Another person must have been present.

"I treat all equally as a steward."

"I know. That’s precisely why I couldn’t come to you."

Gyurie is a steward.

In managing this world, one must not favor any individual based on personal inclination.

Therefore, even if one stands at the brink of death, one cannot rely on Gyurie.

That would be unfair.

"Still. Even if direct action was impossible, mediation should have been possible."

"Coming to you from the start would have been undignified."

"That is the outcome of holding firm to principle."

"True enough."

Perhaps, having lived so long, pride has become excessive.

If I had turned to Gyurie from the beginning, this would not have happened.

Yet, no regret remains.

“Was the issue with Gyurie something that could have been resolved by mediation?”

“At the very least, a truce should have been possible. You and that one share similar objectives.”

“I see.”

That was enough to hear.

Even if my existence were erased, there would still be someone who carries my will.

If that someone consumes me, then my erasure would not be meaningless.

“Then, is it not too late to act now?”

“Hmm. I’ll pass. Now that I’ve come this far, I’ll verify the ending myself.”

“I see.”

Whether I remain or vanish.

“From Gyurie’s perspective, how likely do you think it is that I survive?”

“Fifty-fifty. The separation of the soul has reached a level beyond even my capabilities. In either case, some form of your existence will remain, but what that form will be— I cannot predict.”

“Ah.”

The entity clinging to your soul seems unable to halt the fusion of its own volition. It is impossible to predict which thought will surface. There is even a possibility that, upon merging, the result could become something entirely different.

I pray it does not come to that.

I wish to remain, if possible. I will resist as long as I can.

"For now, I will pursue the original body. What comes after, we'll decide when we meet."

"Is that so. I would prefer, if possible, that you remain with it, and reconcile."

"Drinking together stirred something? Passion?"

"Indeed. I can understand why D takes interest. That one is quite amusing."

Gyurie answered honestly to the question posed with mockery.

Unusual.

That this man, utterly unrelated to Lady Sarriel, would express such an opinion about someone else.

Clearly, he holds great regard.

"Infidelity?"

"Absolutely not. It's entertaining to observe, but having such a presence nearby is extremely inconvenient. One cannot possibly harbor romantic feelings toward someone like that."

"Ah, I see."

Is he praising or belittling?

More likely the latter.

"Then I'll do my best to make sure we can all drink together in the future."

"Ah. Stay well."

A farewell that might mark the end of this lifetime.

Gyurie was about to teleport away, and I realized.

"Wait—leave the Earth Dragon behind."

"Refused."

Without ceremony, Gyurie teleported away, taking the Earth Dragon's corpse with him.

Afterward, I surveyed the lower levels. Other Earth Dragons had already been retrieved.

You wretch.

I won't let this grudge go unavenged when we meet again.

For that reason, I can no longer afford to disappear here.