Blood 13: Jealousy

" Well, what happens next is up to you. You're still young. No need to rush. "

I nod in agreement to Ariel's words.

That's right.

It's easy to forget, given the past life, but I'm still a child.

My life is just beginning.

There's still time.

I'm a vampire, after all. I might live longer than humans.

" So? What are you planning to do? If you come with us, we'll welcome you. If you stay in the human realm, we'll look after you a little, though I don't really recommend it. "

Yes.

What should we do now?

I have no home to return to.

The Church of Divine Words and the elves seem to be targeting me for some reason. I'll have to evade pursuit.

I don't know the elves, but the Church of Divine Words is widely venerated among humans.

Their sphere of influence is broad.

It might be safer to assume that all regions outside the Goddess Cult’s sphere of influence fall under the Church of Divine Words’ domain.

The Goddess Cult will no longer protect me.

In fact, if they learn I am still alive, they might willingly hand me over to the Church of Divine Words.

Caught between the Goddess Cult and the Church of Divine Words.

As long as I remain within human settlements, I must remain vigilant at all times.

Moreover, neither I nor Melazophis can conceal our nature as vampires.

Previously, I lived alone and was a child—no one questioned me. That will not be possible going forward.

I have never consumed blood in daily life, but that may change as I grow. Perhaps I will need to consume blood to survive.

For now, I am a child—no blood required.

But Melazophis will not have that luxury. He will need to consume blood.

As Ariel said, remaining in the human domain like this is not advisable.

I could survive in hiding.

But a life of evasion is inherently stressful. A minor mistake could lead to ruin.

Yet, going to the demon realm with Ariel—is that truly viable?

I trust Ariel.

Despite our brief acquaintance, she is straightforward and unexpectedly reliable.

But I do not trust Shiro. Nor do I trust the demons.

I do not know how vampires are treated among demons. Would a vampire of former human origin be accepted?

What even are demons, in truth?

I am not naive enough to trust someone I have never seen.

Yet, there is no alternative.

Ariel has given me the choice—said it depends on my decision—but the options available are limited.

If I refuse Ariel’s offer here, the only path ahead is a harsh life on the run.

Living in fear of assassins who may come at any time, with no one to rely on but Melazophis.

That would be unbearable.

I’m still a child, after all. I should be protected by someone for at least a few more years.

Placing such a burden on Melazophis alone is too much.

I don’t want to think about it, but what if something happened to Melazophis in that situation…

“Where will you be going next, Ariel?”

“We’re returning leisurely to the Demon Realm.”

“Then… can I come with you?”

“Ah—have you decided?”

“No. I’m still uncertain. So, could you just take me to the border between the Human Realm and the Demon Realm for now? I’ll decide what comes after when the time comes.”

I think my own conclusion is half-hearted.

One could call it procrastination.

But I couldn’t bring myself to decide, after living as a human all this time, to suddenly enter the Demon Realm.

“That’s fine, that’s fine. Actually, I think it’s better you’re not deciding on a whim. Thoughtfulness is good.”

She smiled and accepted it. I relaxed.

My offer might sound terribly impolite, depending on how one interprets it.

Essentially, it’s the same as saying I can’t trust you yet, so I’ll be watching.

“Well, the road from here to the Demon Realm is long. You can figure it out during the journey.”

Ariel answered gently, as if reading my thoughts.

I felt slightly uncomfortable.

It was as if she were exposing my limited capacity.

Ah, I really haven’t changed much, even after reincarnation.

It’s not just about capacity.

When another person surpasses me, an indefinable sense of inferiority arises. A bitter feeling smolders within.

This feeling has a name: jealousy.

Why am I like this, while they are that?

Whenever someone excels or causes inconvenience, I inevitably think this way.

Reincarnated. Born into a good family. Life ahead—promising!

And yet, I am a vampire. Drawn into war. Lost my family. Lost my home. Nearly died.

Why me?

After enduring so much in my previous life, shouldn't I be allowed to have a better existence this time?

A rage with nowhere to go.

This accumulated resentment transformed, within my chest, into intense jealousy—when the one person I disliked most in my past life appeared before me.

While I am at the bottom of misfortune, they stand there, calm and composed.

I understand.

This is nothing but misplaced anger.

It is shameful. Unseemly.

Not a feeling one should harbor toward a person who saved my life.

But I cannot dismiss it.

I cannot organize my emotions.

That must be it.

Since some point in time, I have acquired the skill known as "Envy."

Its level has increased day by day. Now it stands at level seven.

Each time the divine voice announces an increase in Envy's level, I feel as though my shameful inner self is being exposed—only to grow more irritated.

"Shall I tell you about Shiro?"

About him?

"Since you won’t say anything yourself, I’ll tell you. About Shiro."

I didn’t want to know.

Yet, for some reason, I felt I had to hear this story.