S32 Reincarnation

The air in the room after Suzuka and the others left was worse than anything.

Kudo, usually the one who held everyone together, had lowered his head after Suzuka said she could not return to Earth.

I do not know how life in this village has been.

But judging from the atmosphere so far, Kudo must have been the center, managing things as best he could.

Now, the central figure was on the verge of breaking.

In an uncertain situation with no clear path forward, the collapse of the person everyone relied on seemed to cast an even heavier shadow over everyone’s hearts.

I want to go back to Japan.

That thought must have crossed the mind of every reincarnated person at least once.

I have thought it countless times myself.

The civilization of this world is far behind Japan’s, and the inconvenience is frequent.

Above all, I want to see my family again—those I lost to death.

And I can't help but think.

If only I could return to Japan.

Even I, who was born a prince in a great nation, with every advantage, felt this way.

Everyone else must have felt it even more intensely.

Kudō’s expression clearly testified to that.

Imprisoned in this elven village, living a life with no freedom at all.

It’s only natural that everyone would wish to return to Japan.

“Shinō”

Breaking the silence, Shizuhara called out to the bound Kusama in a low voice.

Shizuhara had always called Kusama Shinō, and often used him as a servant.

But this voice was different—no longer familiar, tinged with hostility.

“W-What?”

“Is there truly no way to return to Japan?”

Kudō lifted his face abruptly, as if struck by the question.

“Wasn’t that guy’s attitude suspicious? There’s definitely something hidden. If there’s truly no way back to Japan, why bring up that topic at all?”

Suzuhara’s words carried absolute certainty. All eyes in the room turned sharply toward Kusama.

Kusama flinched under their collective glare, shifting uneasily. Oggi, bound beside him, grimaced in displeasure.

“I don’t know! I really don’t know! I swear! I mean it—I swear I know nothing!”

Kusama pleaded desperately.

There was no sign of deceit in his expression.

Yet, unwilling to abandon even the slightest hope, Kudō rushed toward him, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it.

“Please, if you know anything, tell me! I’m begging you!”

“I’m telling you, I don’t know! If I could go back, I’d be gone already—just to finish reading the next chapter of the manga!”

Sōma declares a desire to return to Japan for no reason at all—yet the tone is urgent.

Not out of any specific motivation to return, but rather due to the overwhelming pressure emanating from Kudo.

"Calmed down, Chairman. Sōma said he doesn’t know. Just take a breath—be rational."

Togawa gently pulls Kudo back from Sōma, intervening.

"You don’t understand, you were outside! Do you know what kind of life we’ve lived here? What feelings we’ve carried! You—you who’ve only enjoyed yourself on adventures!"

Uncharacteristic, a raised voice, a tirade.

"Ah…?"

But that was precisely the trigger Togawa had warned against.

"Enjoyable adventure? You call fighting through blood and agony—after your entire family was slaughtered, seeking revenge—enjoyable adventure!?"

Bad move.

"Togawa! Hold him back!"

I lunged toward Togawa and locked him in a rear chokehold.

He was on the verge of attacking Kudo—his momentum had to be stopped.

Sugama, who had somehow freed himself from the ropes, stepped forward, positioning himself to shield Kudo.

"Ah..."

Behind Sugama, Kudo collapsed, pale and trembling under Togawa’s oppressive presence.

The pallor on his face was not merely from the pressure.

"...Sorry. Lost my temper. I’m fine now. Let go."

Togawa steadied his ragged breath, regaining composure.

I accepted his words and released the hold.

Togawa glanced at Kudo, then turned without a word and ascended the stairs, exiting the room.

"Ah... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Kudo murmured a quiet apology toward the retreating Togawa, already gone.

Remained seated on the floor, unable to rise, head lowered without motion.

The body trembled. A muffled sob reached the ears.

The air grew heavy once more.

It was Kudo who was at fault, I believe.

I did not know. I had no awareness that Togawa had endured such circumstances for so long, and yet I had touched upon it without thought.

Kudo was not the only one shaken by Togawa’s words. The boys who had spoken of adventure with longing also shifted uncomfortably.

Regardless of ignorance, it was Kudo who had recklessly touched Togawa’s forbidden boundary.

Still, I could not bring myself to blame him.

“Whether one was better or not… such a discussion holds no meaning.”

The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them—those same words that had provoked me earlier, from Kyoya.

Yet perhaps, in this instance, he was correct.

We have each walked separate paths.

Different hardships and joys were inevitable.

Boasting about misfortune serves no purpose.

The past cannot be changed, no matter what.

We must look toward the future, not the past.

"Chairperson. We have already died once."

We died once and were reborn into this world.

That past remains unchanged.

"We are dead. The ones here now—no matter how much of our former lives we remember—are not the same. We have been reborn. We have changed."

The Chairperson turns a tear-streaked face toward me.

His gaze holds confusion—what is the point of stating the obvious?—and a faint irritation.

"Even if we return to Japan, we are different people. There is no place left for us to return to."

The Chairperson gasps.

The Chairperson should have understood this logically.

She just refused to accept it.

Our appearances bear no resemblance to our former selves.

Some have even changed gender entirely—like Katia.

We are no longer the same people.

Going back to Japan in these forms—there is no place for us.

We are already residents of this world.

"Let’s think about what comes next. What do we want? What should we do?"

As I say this, I wonder what I can actually do.

What should I do from now on?

—Atonement.

The cursed voice echoing in my mind seems to grow louder.

Weakness threatens to pull my consciousness under.

—Atonement.

Shut up!

What exactly am I supposed to atone for?

What have I—what have we—done?!

"Shun?"

Katia, sensing my change, calls out with concern.

Nothing. Just thinking about how I should proceed from here.

Not lying.

In truth, I have no idea how I should proceed.

A tangle of events, thoughts muddled and disorganized—part of it is that.

But more accurately, I’m at a loss.

I believed I’d acted according to my own understanding.

But did it truly matter?

Julius brother is dead. Father was killed before my eyes. Sū was forced by Yugo to kill her father. The kingdom fell.

I came here, to this elven village, to stop Yugo. Yet I collapsed without accomplishing anything. Now I learn Yugo was using the young leaves all along.

A vast current has formed beyond my knowledge.

My actions up until now feel less like decisions made by my own will and more like being swallowed by a vast current beyond my understanding.

What am I supposed to do?

Even if I wanted to, could I possibly do anything against those young leaves?

I don’t feel capable.

Just now, I could do nothing but fall helplessly to the floor, unable to resist.

—Atone.

I shake my head, pushing away doubt and curses.

The curses do not cease.

Still, I must pretend not to hear them.

"Shun. You’re really alright? Your face looks pale."

"Yeah. Not back to full strength yet. I’ll go back to my room and rest. I’ll cool my head and decide what to do next."

I reply to Katia’s concern, then begin moving toward my room.

Did that response sound unnatural?

The curse has made my emotions unstable.

The exchange with Kyoya could have been handled more calmly.

Even Kyoya had his reasons. I let my emotions take over and forced my opinion upon him.

I would have spoken with him properly, one-on-one.

That opportunity never came.

The world moved faster than I expected—without pause, without warning.

Everything was rolling toward worse, worse, worse.