That 44: It's not your fault.
Then, a full day passed.
I prayed for Takanao's peace.
I prayed for Mizutani's peace.
I burned the corpse of the "zombie."
During that time, not a single person came to speak to me.
Well, the whole community was filled with a gloomy atmosphere, after all.
Anyway, I believed I had already said everything everyone needed to hear.
It was just a matter of how these people would view me from now on.
▼
Early morning.
While examining the schoolyard flowerbed, searching for flowers suitable to place on a grave,
"Hey! Stop that!"
I'm sharply scolded by a high-pitched voice.
Looking up, I see Mr. Sasaki.
"Taking flowers from here violates school rules."
"Ah... okay..."
I never know whether he's joking or serious—he's always like this.
Apparently, he came to water the flowerbed and now crouches down beside me.
"Even in a world like this, flowers remain unchanged—they bloom carefree."
"Is that so....You've been watering these every time, teacher?"
"Indeed. For the past ten years, without fail. In fact, it was me who first suggested planting these flowers here."
"Really?"
I'm slightly surprised.
I never knew the teacher had such a side.
"Compared to you kids, who'll be gone in just three years, these flowers have been with me far longer."
"Wow."
Maybe that's why this teacher is so cold toward students—thinking like that.
"……So, what happened after that?"
"What do you mean, 'what happened'?"
"Are you using it… with energy? That, um, mysterious power?"
I thought the way he brought it up was terribly awkward.
"I can use it. —《Fire》"
A small flame flickers at the tip of my index finger.
"Hmmmm…"
Mr. Sasaki looked at it with genuine interest.
"Mr. Sago from the chemistry department would probably be thrilled if he saw this... Unfortunately, he's on leave right now."
Ah, there he is. Such a teacher, indeed.
"By the way, um... that—"
"I know nothing about it."
I cut him off before he could say more.
Mr. Sasaki grimaced.
"Nothing... what do you mean?"
"Everything. Why this world turned out this way. Why I was given such power. Why my power fits so perfectly with this world. Well, I suppose you won't believe me, but—"
Then, the teacher looked downcast and said,
"…I wasn't really asking about any of that."
"Then what brought you here?"
A single sparrow fluttered down into the early morning flower bed.
Chirping softly, it quickly takes flight back into the sky.
Birds are great.
They're free.
...and suddenly, I find myself thinking such an unexpectedly romantic thought, like a sheltered noblewoman.
"The one thing I wanted to say to you was just one sentence."
"What is it?"
Even though it's only one sentence, it felt like quite a long preamble.
"It's a line from my favorite movie—'Good Will Hunting.'"
"Good...?"
"Never heard of it?"
"I only watch superhero movies and anime..."
"Ah, that's just the problem with today's young people," Sasaki-sensei huffs, snorting through his nose.
"Do you understand the meaning of 'It's not your fault'?"
"Uh... i-no-fu...?"
Apparently, Sasaki-sensei spent quite some time living in the U.S. a while back.
I don't know why, but Sensei's English is incredibly hard to understand.
That's why this person's class was so confusing.
"You don't even get this? Then you're getting a fail."
"So what's the meaning?"
"It's 'It's not your fault.'"
"...Huh?"
It's pretty awkward, isn't it?
Maybe this is supposed to be comforting?
"Not at fault... I mean, saying that doesn't really help."
" You're not at fault. "
"I know that, I know..."
" You're not at fault. Can't you understand? You're not at fault."
"Huh...?"
"All of what's happened so far. Everything that's yet to come."
I grimace.
"What do you mean by that...?"
"All of it—the things that happened to Takamatsu-kun. The things that happened to Mizutani-san."
"…………………"
"All of it—the monsters flooding outside. The fact that people are still dying right now."
"That's... certainly..."
"You don't have to bear the blame. — 'You're not at fault.'"
"Hn..."
That was when it happened.
From some deep, inexplicable part of my abdomen, an odd emotion welled up inside me.
"You're not at fault."
"I... I am..."
"You don't have to bear the blame."
"If only I had handled things... better..."
"You're not at fault."
"Maybe if I had chosen a different skill... I could have defeated more 'zombies' and leveled up more... maybe Tanaka-kun and Mizutani-san wouldn't have died..."
"Everything that happened was bound to happen."
"But... what if my very presence here is what's drawing those monsters toward us? Maybe if I left, everyone would be safe..."
"Ridiculous. That's nothing but a hypothetical born from mere speculation."
"Ugh..."
"Listen. None of this—everything about it—is something you need to carry on your shoulders. …Do you understand what I'm saying?"
No tears came.
Those emotions had already dried up long ago.
Instead, I pressed tightly against my eyes.
Mr. Sasaki placed a hand on my shoulder with a soft pat.
"Teacher..."
"Uh-huh."
"Sexual harassment, you know."
"What are you talking about? You think I'm some kind of a one-woman man?"
I let out a small laugh.
Mr. Sasaki's face, already frog-like, crinkled into a grin.
"Let's have breakfast. Everyone's waiting—everyone is."
"Yes."
Looking up at the sky, I saw a flock of sparrows returning to their group.
"By the way—actually, I've been meaning to ask you for a long time now..."
"What is it?"
"Say, what was your name again?"
Ah...
Yeah, this guy's definitely a jerk.
He responds with a forced smile.
"It's... well, let's just say it's a secret."