Episode 284: Porkman's Quest

The studio where the streamer known as "Gambler" usually records their gameplay—was a space that looked exactly like a "perfect gaming room."

Along the walls, shelves were filled with various gaming consoles, likely collected from all over the world, creating a lineup so impressive it could almost be called a mini museum.

Of course, in the separate storage room, various game software are neatly arranged, packed tightly together.

In the center of the studio, insulated on all sides and kept cool with powerful air conditioning, four high-spec PCs are connected via a local area network.

Each of them is connected to a wired controller for the Xbox 360.

"The games are already installed. Let's get started."

"Yes."

We each take our seats and adjust the equipment in front of us.

Holding the controller, my heart began to race unexpectedly.

Even though I knew I would be revived—still, I never thought I’d be risking my life like this.

...No, I mustn’t show fear.

I have to appear cool and confident in front of Amatsuki Mien.

As the game boots up,

“Wow, you made it this far.”

This will be the final trial within the "Master Dungeon."

The fact that this game has loaded means—likely, you're a group of four.

Choosing this challenge means you're fortunate in one sense, yet perhaps unlucky in another.

"Game #1" is the most difficult challenge among the works I've created, but it offers a substantial amount of experience points as a reward.

However, the experience points earned will be distributed differently among the four of you.

The top player will receive four times the usual amount. The second place player will receive half of the usual amount.

The third place player will receive 0.002 times the usual amount, and the fourth place player will receive 0.001 times the usual amount.

The theme of this game is "friendship and its collapse."

Prepare yourselves accordingly."

A cryptic message like this then echoes through the air.

"——Well, this kind of explanation doesn't really matter to us right now, does it?"

True enough.

Skipping past the leisurely flow of the "Dungeon Master's" message, the game title 'Porkman's Quest' appeared with a grand BGM.

Loading the pre-set player information, our characters were finalized—me, Tora-chan, Mikoto-chan, and Tamachan.

Each character shared a similar design—more specifically, they were all stylized as chubby little piglets with three heads.

It seemed these four, distinguished by their four-colored armor, were meant to be the protagonists of 'Porkman's Quest.'

Each assigned a color:

Red (me),

Yellow (Tora-chan),

Blue (Mikoto-chan),

White (Tamachan)—

and with a sharp "shakkin!" sound effect as they drew their swords, the game began.

▼

Long ago, there were four little piglets renowned far and wide for their close friendship.

One day, these four little piglets overheard a royal proclamation from the king.

— The four beautiful princesses of our nation have been kidnapped by agents of the wicked wolf clan. Whoever rescues the princesses shall be recognized as their husband and granted the right to inherit the throne.

Upon hearing this, the little piglets were filled with righteous indignation, each declaring, "I shall be the one to save them!"

They had made up their minds to set out on their adventure.

▼

And so, the adventure of the piglets clad in four-colored armor began.

The game resembles the 3D action genre with a top-down perspective, common in titles like Monster Hunter.

Despite being an indie game, it's well-made, with smooth controls and a pastoral atmosphere in its background music.

The starting point was a small hut where the little piglets lived, with the four we were controlling already gathered together.

On cue from the "Gambler," the recording of the gameplay commentary began.

"Alright... so today, we're going to stream this amateur-made game we got from Akihabara! As previously announced, this time around—our savior to all of you..."

She briefly glanced in my direction.

I stiffened my face as I stared back,

"Eh, um... Hello. This is 'Nameless JK.' Nice to meet you."

"Whoa, whoa, you're so tense! Let's go full vulgar jokes, just like always!"

"Wait a minute, please. I'm not really good with that kind of humor..."

"Come on, say 'shit'! Say 'shit'!"

"Um, well..."

"Shit-shit-shit! HAHAHAHAH!"

I'm already starting to feel like I won't be able to keep up with this person's streaming vibe.

Reluctantly, I...

"S-so, then... u, u, u, uh..."

"By the way, what should we even do first in this game!?"

"You won't even let me finish speaking!!"

"Gambling Master" — whether she's always had this kind of talent or not, she's guiding the game with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what she's doing, leading me, a complete beginner at commentary, through the gameplay.

As I let her take charge, I gradually began to relax.

For now, the four of us confirm the game controls and... check our next objective.

It seems this game doesn't have any clear, straightforward goals—right now, we're just suddenly dropped into the game world.

"For now, let's just say I'm in charge."

"Please take care of us."

"Then, let's pick our weapons right away."

On the table before us stood four types of weapons neatly arranged.

Sword, spear, short sword, and a rubber cup used when the toilet gets clogged (official name: rubber cup).

Next to the four weapons was a single note attached.

Apparently, the equipment chosen first must be used until the very end.

"……There's clearly one that's a total dud here."

"I don't get it. Sometimes these things turn out to be late-bloomer gear."

"True."

Just like the onion warrior, and the Magikarp. Classic game trope, really.

"Then, let's decide fairly with rock-paper-scissors."

"Yes."

So we all played rock-paper-scissors. I lost instantly.

The result was:

Red (me)... Toilet plunger.

Yellow (Toraiko)... Iron Sword.

Blue (Migumi)... Iron Short Sword.

White (Tama)... Iron Spear.

That's how it went.

"Huh?... When I equipped the sword... what's this? 'You are the leader of the piglets. You have the authority to command the other four. Their assets should be under your management,' it says."

"Really...?"

It seems like the character's role (role) is determined based on the equipment chosen?

And then, following me, the Gambling Expert equips the rubber cup...

The message that appeared read as follows:

"You are being bullied by the other three.

To escape this situation, you'll need to outwit your companions somehow.

And if possible, you must exact a gruesome revenge on them and claim the kidnapped princess for yourself.

(Warning) However, it would be wise not to share this information with your companions."