落とし穴７４堀：海の男児たち (Part1)
The 74th Pitfall: Boys of the Sea
Boys of the Sea
Side: Yuki
The sun shone brightly, the sky was blue, white clouds drifted, and a white sandy beach stretched out before us…
The sound of waves crashing, "Zazaan, zazaan," rolling in and out.
This was the summer sea.
While we had tried a new way to enjoy summer with a test of courage recently, it didn't mean we'd forgo playing in the sea.
In fact, for Japan, fireworks and the sea are the quintessential summer activities.
The fireworks festival is an event for Weed, so today, we came to the sea to enjoy ourselves as a family.
"Hyaaa! You've made such a magnificent coastline! Alright, follow me!!"
Who was it that said that and was about to dash off?
"Luna, big sister. It's dangerous if you don't warm up first!"
"That's right! Sister Luna, you'll get a cramp and drown!"
To hide nothing, it was the useless goddess.
Well, not that I was hiding it.
Who would believe she was a goddess, seeing this beauty holding a vinyl dolphin and being restrained by the children?
Now, you might wonder why Luna is here when I said "family." It's because I specifically dragged her along.
Last time, I had sent an email, creating the pretense of having contacted her, but I had devised a way to prevent Luna from coming.
She had unilaterally participated in the test of courage and caused supernatural phenomena with brute force, or rather, divine power.
The reason was the incredibly trivial desire to see Fia's surprised face.
Well, if I said that, someone might retort that the test of courage was the same, but it's generally unacceptable for an outsider to interfere and act on their own. It could lead to accidents or incidents, which would be a big problem.
So, to prevent her from acting on her own and causing trouble, like pulling people's legs in the sea, I brought Luna with me.
Of course, Taiki and Taizo-san are also here.
And as a bonus, Fia and Lilishe.
Comet didn't come, saying that direct sunlight is not good for corpses. Simply put, she probably couldn't find enjoyment in playing in the sea. She was busy with Pokémon breeding.
If direct sunlight could do anything, she wouldn't be out and about exploring Weed during the day.
Zombies and ghosts in this world are problematic because they are unaffected by sunlight.
Well, they do seem to weaken slightly.
Adventurers like Mauve and Ovik absolutely detest zombie extermination during the summer. The reason is the smell. They say the pungent aroma of decaying zombies intensifies, making them extremely unpleasant to deal with.
Ugh, that's making me feel sick, so I'll stop thinking about it here.
"Huh, Luna. Speaking of which, where are Lilishe and Fia?"
I suddenly looked around, but the two goddesses were nowhere to be seen.
Taiki-kun, Taizo-san, and I were the last ones to arrive, busy with preparing lunch.
"I saw them changing… one, two. Uh, I saw them changing. Three, four."
Luna replied, doing warm-up exercises with Aslin and the others.
So they are here.
Then why aren't they out?
As I pondered this, I gazed towards the cottage.
Did something happen? Maybe they couldn't put on their swimsuits? Because they've gotten so… pudgy.
"...I won't help you if you get hit, Yuki."
"Oh, Labyris. Where are Fia and Lilishe?"
Labyris interjected, reading my mind and giving me a warning.
Well, I wouldn't say it in front of her, of course.
Topics like weight are forbidden in front of women, as a rule.
I value my life.
"Well, Lilishe is one thing, but Fia is being shy."
"Shy? About her swimsuit?"
"That's right. Well, it can't be helped. She did something like a penalty game in her swimsuit."
"Ahhh..."
Right, right, something like that happened.
It was mainly led by the useless goddess, who was doing warm-up exercises there.
I was just supporting, so I wasn't at fault at all.
...Yes, not at fault at all.
"Alright, warm-up finished! To the sea! - is what I'd like to say, but Fia seems to be hesitating. Leave it to me! Let's go, Aslin, Firia, we're dragging her to the sea!"
"Okay!!"
"Understood!"
For some reason, Luna, dragging the two of them, dashed into the cottage.
Well, if Luna can resolve it, then that's fine.
"...Is it okay?"
"Don't ask me. Nothing has ever been okay when the useless goddess gets involved."
I could only reply to Taiki-kun's muttering.
There has never been a time when Luna acted and there wasn't any damage.
Someone always suffers. Whether it's the delivery of materials, the emotional scars of being put on display, or being sent to another world.
All I can do is minimize the damage.
...Why must I minimize the attacks from my own kin?
No, perhaps it's because I consider the useless goddess to be kin.
She's more like a natural disaster.
"Yuki-kun. Is Lady Luna... alright?"
"As I told Taiki-kun, I don't think she's alright at all."
Taizo-san, Fia's husband, must be worried, but I can give him a confident assurance that she's not alright.
Just like the prank during the test of courage the other day.
It's strange if the useless goddess *doesn't* do something.
See? This level of trust, albeit in a terrible direction.
Well, they're not as bad as those two, so I'm still better off.
"Well, as you know, she won't get seriously injured, so I think you just need to be there to support her. You're a married couple, after all. Think of it as an opportunity for marital harmony from Luna."
"...I see."
I don't think so, though.
As Taizo-san and I were talking like this...
"Ah, Luna-san is coming out... I think?"
"“You think?”"
Taiki-kun made a strange sound, so I looked towards the cottage and saw Luna holding Fia.
...Why is she holding her?
And then, with a pitching form, she threw Fia, the first one!
*Poof...*
"Kyaaaaaa...!?"
Fia soared beautifully into the sky.
"Fia-san!?"
Taizo-san rushed after her in a panic.
Oh, Taizo-san is running into the sea where Fia is about to land.
That's an out with a fly ball.
*Splash!!*
Fia landed in the water with a splash.
It seemed Taizo-san managed to make it in time.
The sight of him holding Fia in his arms, cradled like a princess, was quite picturesque.
"Hyahaha! What a great shot!"
The useless goddess was taking pictures, "Pasha, pasha."
Seriously, what do you want to do?
"Luna, big sister. Throw me too."
"Me too!"
"Alright, I got it. Yuki, here you go!!"
"Geh!?"
Is she planning to use me as a catcher?
"Heeeere!!"
"Wooohooo!!"
She actually threw me!?
My level should prevent any serious injury, but if I don't catch her, she'll surely become grumpy.
Damn it!!
"Good luck! I'm going to prepare lunch."
Taiki-kun quickly escaped.
Damn it!!
I desperately ran towards the landing spot, wading through the waves, "Zabazaba, this is tough!?"
*ZAPAAAN!!*
N-N-Nonetheless, I made it in time.
"Thank you, Onii-chan."
"...You shouldn't let her throw you, it's dangerous."
"Yeah. I decided it would only be once."
"Only once? What do you mean..."
Before I could ask Aslin her true intentions, the answer was fired.
"Here, next!!"
"Onii-sama!!"
Firia was tossed towards the sky.
At that moment, all of my wives were lined up behind Luna.
In other words...
"She said everyone will be caught by Onii-chan."
My summer triathlon had begun.
Luna was shifting the landing points, making me move around.
From a directorial perspective, she's probably doing it for her wives' sake, but for me, it's too much, too continuous!
Even military training doesn't involve catching people flying from land at the beach!
And so, I found myself desperately running around the beach.