第４１６堀：神々の対話（どきっ駄目神だらけの同窓会） (Part1)
**Chapter 416: Dialogue of the Gods (A Heart-Pounding Reunion of Useless Gods)**
**Side: Lilishe – Priestess of Weed Litea Church, Goddess of Love Lilishe**
"Priestess Lirishu! Thank you so much!"
"You’re very welcome. Now, make sure to look where you’re going so you don’t trip again, okay?"
Before me stood a child waving their small hand with all their might, and a mother bowing repeatedly in gratitude.
That child had come to me wailing with a scraped knee, but now they were heading home with a bright smile, thanking me. It was a common sight, but seeing the smiles of children always warmed my heart.
Those honest, pure smiles provided the energy I needed for tomorrow. They gave me the confidence to know that my power was truly meant for creating happiness.
With that thought, I waved back at the child until they were out of sight. As I did, more people emerged from the church.
"Lady Hifi, thank you truly for everything today."
"Not at all. I am just glad it wasn't anything serious."
"Hey, you! Say thank you properly!"
"...'anks. Big Sis Hifi."
It seemed these were the people Hifi had been attending to. However, for some reason, the young boy was acting surly and refusing to look Hifi in the face. I wondered what had happened.
"Hey!"
A fist came down on the boy's head with a dull thud.
"Ow!?"
"Oh, um... Please, ma'am, I don't mind..."
"I certainly do! I didn't raise him to be so ill-mannered that he can't even say thank you. This is for his own good. Now, say it properly!"
"Ugh... Thank you very much!"
With that, the boy took off running.
"Sigh... that shy little brat. I'm so sorry, Lady Hifi. It seems he’s just overwhelmed because you’re so beautiful."
"Eh?! O-oh, is that so? But he’s still just a child..."
"No, he had *that* look in his eyes. Honestly, he’s just like his father when it comes to being a lecher. Lady Hifi, if he ever tries any strange pranks, please tell me. I’ll give him a proper walloping."
"Y-yes... well, please take care."
"We will. Thank you again."
Hifi clearly wasn't used to this sort of thing. Well, she was the Queen of her country, so I suppose that makes sense.
I myself stepped down to the secular world because my opportunities to interact with people like this were being taken away. I felt bad for Litea, but what the church was becoming didn't align with my goals. Or rather, it had slowly drifted away from them.
Still, I was happy that I could once again cooperate fully with the church Litea left behind.
...Even if I was leaving everything up to Yuki.
Well, that part was fine. Yuki had already nagged and scolded me plenty for it.
The real issue was Hifi. Today looked like it was going to be busy, so I contacted the Hifi Holy Kingdom and dragged her over here. I was a bit worried she might be angry.
"Good work today~"
"Ah, Lilishe. You were here?"
"No, no~. You have to call me Lirishu here~."
"...Sigh. Fine. But why do you go out of your way to treat every person so meticulously? Wouldn't it be faster to just heal them all at once with grand magic?"
"That’s a no-no~. If I did that, I wouldn't get to talk to the patients. Besides, relying on the skill of a single individual like that means everything collapses the moment that person is gone. It creates unnecessary problems later, so it's forbidden~. Besides, the hospital handles the major injuries anyway~."
"...That makes sense. But that’s Yuki’s advice, isn't it?"
"Of course~. But I wouldn't use wide-range recovery magic anyway. Litea spoiled everyone with that until now, after all~."
"...You have it rough too, don't you?"
"Well, that’s what it means to be a god~."
"For starters, could you stop that slow, airy way of talking?"
"Being 'powapowa' makes people let their guard down, so it's better this way~. Though, it doesn't work on Yuki at all."
"He’s in a league of his own. He doesn't even show mercy to Lady Luna."
"It’s strange, isn't it? Oh, by the way, sorry for forcing you to come today~."
"I don't mind. I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve interacted with people so naturally."
"Oh? Are you and Taizo-san becoming distant?"
"Of course not! That man is already my other half! I meant interacting with commoners!"
"My, my, how passionate. I'm so happy you're doing well, Hifi. Is the baby coming soon~?"
"A-A baby?! T-there’s no way one would be born that quickly!"
Her reaction was far too innocent. Don't tell me...
"...Hifi. You don't mean to tell me you haven't done *it* even once, do you~?"
"We have! We love each other every day! But like you said, Lirishu, a child isn't going to be born in just a month or two!"
Ah, I see. She’s just panicking. I was a bit surprised by her sudden confession about their nightly activities. Taizo certainly has his hands full with a girl like her.
But Hifi gives such great reactions, I think I’ll play with her just a little longer. I’ll return her to him by tonight, I promise.
Just as I was thinking about how to pry further into the details, a voice suddenly called out.
"Ho, ho. Scary as ever, I see. Pretending to be all airy while trying to dig up your opponent's weaknesses. Or should I be happy that you haven't changed at all?"
Standing there was a thick-armed middle-aged man dressed in traveling clothes.
"Who is this? An acquaintance of yours, Lirishu?"
"I wonder~. I don't know any scruffy-looking uncles like this~. The reception desk is over there~."
"Ah, thank you..."
When I said that, the man bowed his head and started walking toward the reception...
"Wait, like hell I am! You really haven't changed, Lilishe!"
"Eh? He’s calling you Lilishe? Who is this person?"
"An enemy~."
"An enemy?! I’ll contact Yuki and the others..."
"Wait, wait! Look, I'm not carrying any weapons! I even have proper identification and entry permits for Weed!"
"Um... Lilishe?"
"Oh dear~. I thought you would have forced your way in with divine power, but I'm disappointed~. Faide, the Agricultural God."
"The Agricultural God?!"
Yes, this lackluster middle-aged man was actually a god, specifically one specializing in agriculture. He was an eccentric who loved nothing more than tinkering in his fields all day long.
"That’s right. Wait, is it okay for you to just blurt out that I'm the Agricultural God like that?"
"It’s fine~. Hifi here is a goddess too~. From another continent."
"Hah?!"
"That doesn't matter right now~. I don't have anything to tell your lot anyway~. So, what business do you have here~?"
"No, that’s not how this works, is it? Explain things properly. What on earth is going on?"
"I should be the one asking~. You don't actually think I’m going to entertain a bunch of idiots who haven't lifted a finger to help me until now, do you~?"
"Wait, wait, that has nothing to do with me. I was always the one acting as the mediator, wasn't I?"
"Even so, you only showed your face because the rest of those fools begged you to, right~?"
"...That’s true."
Those idiots. They can't even speak for themselves.
I felt a mix of relief that they were the same as ever and disappointment at how pathetic they were. Comparing them—and myself—to Yuki almost made me want to cry.
"Um, I don't quite understand, but I don't think this is a conversation for standing around in public... What should we do?"
"You're right~. For now, let’s go to the drawing room in the back. I get the feeling it would be useless to try and kick him out anyway~."
"I can't back down this time. I’d appreciate that."
Faide spoke with an unexpectedly serious expression. The only other time he made a face like that was when his fields were being ravaged.