第４２３堀：探しもの見つけた (Part1)

第４２３堀：探しもの見つけた (Part1)

**Chapter 423: Found What I Was Looking For**

**Side: Dressa**

Old man Faide was led away to the inn by Lady Lilishe.

Everyone else who had seen them off had already vanished—either they had other duties to attend to, or they were off to further hash out the details of our previous discussion. The meeting room was now empty.

Yuki had stayed until the very end, but seeing that the group had disbanded, he made a move to leave the room.

"Hey, Yuki. Am I... are we even necessary?"

The words spilled out of me naturally, directed at his retreating back.

"What’s brought this on?"

Yuki turned around, looking at me with a puzzled expression.

"You know, our job is to gather rumors in Weed and find the people doing bad things, right?"

"Yeah."

"But since old man Faide offered to help, I feel like there’s no point in us working so hard anymore."

That was it. Thanks to Faide’s arrival, I had the feeling that the current troubles in Weed were about to reach a swift conclusion. If that was the case, I couldn't help but wonder if there was any meaning left in our efforts.

"Ah, I see. It’s true that this specific incident will likely be settled thanks to Faide."

"Right? Then..."

*Then my hard work—our hard work—is meaningless.* I couldn't bring myself to say the words. I was too afraid he would agree.

"Hmm. Well, I don't really feel any obligation to feed you a dream by saying 'that’s not true' just to be nice."

"I thought so. I knew you’d say that, Yuki."

That was just like him. He never held back; he would say exactly what he thought, ruthlessly tearing your arguments to shreds. It didn't matter who you were or what your status was.

"But wait, why are you working so hard in the first place, Dressa?"

"...Why?"

Now that he mentioned it, why *was* I working so hard, even going so far as to do such dirty, gritty work?

"Well, let’s see... I think I wanted to try various things and gain experience."

"I heard that part. And then you asked me to introduce you to a new job, right?"

"Yes, exactly. And after hearing about this situation, I took on the current job."

"Then isn't your hard work for your own sake? What does it matter what happens around you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said it yourself. You did this because you wanted to experience different things, right? Then this job is just one of many experiences for you. Whether Faide does something or not has nothing to do with the effort you put in, does it?"

"I suppose... you're right. Wait, what?"

Why? Why did I think my hard work was a waste?

Seeing me struggle with my thoughts, Yuki spoke up again.

"Well, you probably wanted to handle this matter yourself."

"?"

"You were really fired up, weren't you? So, didn't you think to yourself, 'I’m going to be the one to catch the guys causing trouble in Weed'?"

"Ah... yeah. I did think that."

"But then Faide showed up and it looks like it'll be solved in an instant. You feel like your turn was taken away. From that perspective, your effort feels wasted."

"I see... I was depressed because I lost my chance to shine."

"Probably."

"I think... you're right."

Yuki’s words soaked into me. It felt like water seeping into every dry crack of my heart. It clicked—not through logic, but because my heart and body told me it was the truth.

But that meant...

"I’m the worst..."

"What’s with the sudden self-loathing?"

"Because, isn't it true? I just wanted a place to show off. I preferred chaos over peace just so I could play the hero. Weed is a wonderful place. As far as I know, it’s the place that best fits the word 'paradise.' Yuki, the others, the residents—everyone has been so kind to me. And yet, I found myself wishing for trouble just so I could benefit?"

I felt like crying at my own pettiness. I couldn't face my father, who always spoke of the people's happiness. I was no different from the gods who were harassing Weed...

*I'll do it with my own hands,* I’d thought. But in reality, I just wanted fame. I wanted people to praise me for my hard work. And that desire came at the cost of the people of Weed suffering. Our job was supposed to be about preventing that from happening in the first place.

"Ah—"

Yuki seemed at a loss for words.

As the true leader of Weed, Yuki worked incredibly hard. Even today, he had personally guided Faide, who arrived only yesterday, moving solely for the safety of Weed. He did it because he knew it was for the sake of his wives and the people living here.

He didn't use others for the sake of his own fame like I did. In fact, to Yuki, fame was nothing but a nuisance.

Finally, Yuki seemed to find the words to say to me. Would it be a scolding? Or perhaps an order to leave Weed?

"I don't see the problem."

"Eh?"

I couldn't understand what he was saying. I never imagined he would say something like that after hearing my confession.

"Hey, Jessica. If someone loses the place where they were working hard, it’s normal to feel dejected, right?"

"...Sigh. Well, yes. If the place where you should be exerting yourself disappears, that motivation has nowhere to go and ends up spinning its wheels."

Before I knew it, Jessica had returned. She was standing by Yuki, acting as his guard while listening to our conversation. Jessica, seemingly exasperated by Yuki’s bluntness, answered while pressing a hand to her temple.

"It’s not like Dressa caused the problem herself just to stage a rescue. There’s nothing wrong with having that kind of spirit, is there?"

"...Yuki is right, but I think for Dressa, the fact that she even *thought* that way is what she finds unforgivable."

"...That’s right. I thought it would be fine if Weed was in turmoil. That’s a bad thing, isn't it?"

Jessica and I both tried to correct Yuki’s perception. I wasn't sure why the conversation had turned this way, but I felt like I had to explain it.

"Nah. I’m not going to sit here and condemn every thought someone has. What kind of tyrant would I be if I tried to police your heart? Freedom of thought is fine. Besides, it’s impossible to control anyway."

"That may be true, but..."

"..."

Wait, what was happening? Jessica and I were trying to argue for common sense, yet we were the ones being silenced.

"More importantly, why were you so determined to work hard *this* time?"

"...I told you. I had the petty desire to find a place where I could shine."

"No, no. Think calmly. Why didn't you feel this way about any of your other jobs?"

"That’s easy. Because if I defeat a villain, it’s a clear sign of hard work, and I can gain fame..."

"That’s it, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"The thing you were looking for."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were looking for a job you could put your heart into, weren't you?"

"..."

I was left speechless by Yuki’s words, my mouth hanging open.

"You’re depressed because your effort might go to waste this time. But the reason you worked so hard—the reason you wanted fame—wasn't the goal itself, was it? Didn't you want to solve the problem with your own hands to protect the people?"

"T-that’s..."

I couldn't deny it. I wanted to defeat the villains with my own hands and protect the people of Weed. My hard work and the resulting fame were just the process and the outcome.

"But, I..."